I told you this was going to be a ride!

[davidq]

Davidq(I told you that BEDARD was going to be a ride!)

[Elbren]

Davidq(I told you this was going to be a ride!)

What?? :confused:

[boogidownoriole]

You joined almost a year ago and this is your first post? wtf? :eek:

[Migrant Redbird]

What?? :confused:

Must be channeling Dan Rather. (What's the frequency, Kenneth?)

[davidq]

You joined almost a year ago and this is your first post? wtf? :eek:

Bean out of the country!

[ChrisP]

Bean out of the country!

So, what in the world are you talking about?

[Jimmy The Greek]

Bean out of the country!

And how is it that you "told us" without ever posting before?

[Skywalker76]

And how is it that you "told us" without ever posting before?

:SuN018: So let's see the response here.

[TGO]

Ritterspusch (sp?), is that you? ;)

[srh523]

Bean out of the country!

Amsterdam? Great brownies there! :p

[davidq]

:SuN018: So let's see the response here.

In his Delmarva days

[davidq]

Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply.

[MTOsFan]

I'm an excellent driver.

[Skywalker76]

This thread is getting scary!

[rochester]

I'm an excellent driver.

I am a better passenger except on more than two lanes.

[elextrano8]

Best. Thread. Ever.

[JTrea81]

Wild Bill has returned! :D

[TWpj]

ibtl..........

[boogidownoriole]

Wild Bill has returned! :D

Actually Wild Bill didnt make this much sense :eek:

[The Wedge]

After much thought and careful deliberation, the braintrust of the Orioles Hangout have a statement in response:

Uh, what?

[ChrisP]

I've got you beat. I watched Cal (while I was 2 yrs old) at Aberdeen and KNEW he was a future HOF'er.

[Tx Oriole]

And what bean have you been out of the country with?

[TGO]

I ate a bunch of fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like the man said.

[Mashed Potatoes]

I love lamp!

[Mark Carver]

...... shhhhhhh, the baby is sleeping.

[DrungoHazewood]

The road to hell is paved with unbought stuffed dogs.

[TGO]

And in the end,

the love you take,

is equal to the love,

YOU MAKE....

[The Wedge]

Gee you're cute. Would you like to buy a monkey?

[Mashed Potatoes]

First comes the money, then comes the power, then come da kine crip *****es, brah.

[The Wedge]

The sparrow walks alone. I repeat, The sparrow walks alone.

[TonySoprano]

Here's another clue for you all. The walrus was Paul.

[Miller192]

Do you guys think Sheena Easton is the greastest latin american influence to our modern culture?

[Mark Carver]

I buried Paul.

[TGO]

MEGADETH RULES iF ANYONE HERE LIKES MEGADETH PUSH 111MEGADETH

[DrungoHazewood]

Do you guys think Sheena Easton is the greastest latin american influence to our modern culture?

It's no Hideki Matsui!!!

[Hank Scorpio]

And in the end,

the love you take,

is equal to the love,

YOU MAKE....

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... is that true?

[Witchy Chick]

After much thought and careful deliberation, the braintrust of the Orioles Hangout have a statement in response:

Uh, what?

Was that the Hangout braintrust? Or the Geico caveman? ;)


Witchy

[tywright]

It's too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin' around. I gotta send you back to the South Pole.

[TGO]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... is that true?

Don't sass me, boy.

[The Wedge]

It's too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin' around. I gotta send you back to the South Pole.

If you're gonna go with that route:

Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

[Hank Scorpio]

Don't sass me, boy.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, TGO. I hold you in such high regard!!!!

That was actually a quote from an old SNL skit where Farley was interviewing Paul McCartney.

Nobody picked up on that?!?!? Curses!!!!!!!!!

[Hank Scorpio]

I want to know......

Have you ever seen rain?

[tywright]

If you're gonna go with that route:

Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

I AM THE SMARTEST MAN ALIVE!

[tywright]

I'm an excellent driver.

ten minutes to Wapner

[DrungoHazewood]

Man it's hot. It's like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot.

[TGO]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, TGO. I hold you in such high regard!!!!

That was actually a quote from an old SNL skit where Farley was interviewing Paul McCartney.

Nobody picked up on that?!?!? Curses!!!!!!!!!

I was just continuing the line of absurdity and thought that was an appropriate response. Now that you mention I remember the skit you're talking about.

Anyway, back on track...

MMs have a thin candy shell, I'm surprised you didn't know that.

[Hank Scorpio]

Man it's hot. It's like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot.

I can take this kind of hot. What I can't take is this kind of mustard.

[MTOsFan]

ten minutes to Wapner

Finally, I thought that might have slipped by everyone.:D

[Hank Scorpio]

The world looks mighty good to me, cuz Tootsie Rolls are all I see.

Whatever it is I think I see, becomes a Tootsie Roll to me.

Tootsie Roll candy is a chocolately chew,

Tootsie Roll, I think I'm in love with you.

Whatever it is I think I see, becomes a Tootsie Roll to me.

[tywright]

Finally, I thought that might have slipped by everyone.:D

Haha yeah...I started cracking up when I saw that. I say that pretty much whenever I encounter someone who is a little slow...like SG

[The Wedge]

Man it's hot. It's like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot.

Here's a good clue...if the engine is running, the jeep's already started.

[TGO]

What is the Absurd? It is, as may quite easily be seen, that I, a rational being, must act in a case where my reason, my powers of reflection, tell me: you can just as well do the one thing as the other, that is to say where my reason and reflection say: you cannot act and yet here is where I have to act... The Absurd, or to act by virtue of the absurd, is to act upon faith ... I must act, but reflection has closed the road so I take one of the possibilities and say: This is what I do, I cannot do otherwise because I am brought to a standstill by my powers of reflection.

[Hank Scorpio]

Zing!!!!!!!!!!!

[Traylor]

Actually I hit my driver pretty well or until Ive had two to many beers then every club in my bag becomes a roto tiller blade .:D

[Hank Scorpio]

What is the Absurd? It is, as may quite easily be seen, that I, a rational being, must act in a case where my reason, my powers of reflection, tell me: you can just as well do the one thing as the other, that is to say where my reason and reflection say: you cannot act and yet here is where I have to act... The Absurd, or to act by virtue of the absurd, is to act upon faith ... I must act, but reflection has closed the road so I take one of the possibilities and say: This is what I do, I cannot do otherwise because I am brought to a standstill by my powers of reflection.

If you drink too much and look at my screenname, it becomes "absurd".

Burds
Absurd
Burds
Absurd
Burds
Absurd

Whoa, let me get my head together...

[DrungoHazewood]

What's the matter with you guys? This was never about the money, this was about us against the system. That system that kills the human spirit. We stand for something. We are here to show those guys that are inching their way on the freeways in their metal coffins that the human sprit is still alive. Don't worry about this guy, okay? I know exactly what to do with him.

[Hank Scorpio]

Actually I hit my driver pretty well or until Ive had two to many beers then every club in my bag becomes a roto tiller blade .:D

Someone call Miss Utility!!!!!

[MTOsFan]

Frankenstein never scared me.

Marsupials do.


Because they're fast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Hank Scorpio]

What's the matter with you guys? This was never about the money, this was about us against the system. That system that kills the human spirit. We stand for something. We are here to show those guys that are inching their way on the freeways in their metal coffins that the human sprit is still alive. Don't worry about this guy, okay? I know exactly what to do with him.

I caught my first tube today, sir.

[NewMarketSean]

Hey everyone... a/s/l??

Any hot girls wanna talk with a built single guy?

Hit me up on IM.

[tywright]

Oh, it's not the speed really so much, I just wish I hadn't drunk all that cough syrup this morning.

[MPK76]

What is the name of the Lone Ranger's nephew's horse?
Ah... Victor! His name is Victor.
How the hell did you know that?
Everybody knows that!

[The Wedge]

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get out of here.

[HookMan]

The password is: Nougat.

[Elbren]

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out of focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get out of here.
#1. Mitch Hedberg rules. RIP

#2. How and why has this reached 6 pages?? lol

[TonySoprano]

It's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma.

QUANTAS never crashed.

[theonestevewh]

I once heard of a guy who actually beat Chuck Norris in a fight. However, word is that the CIA captured him and killed him.

[TGO]

It's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma.

QUANTAS never crashed.

Forget it Tony, it's Chinatown.

[markpolis]

davidq puts BigBird and Belkast to shame!!!

Keep it comin' big guy. I live for this stuff.

[TGO]

davidq puts BigBird and Belkast to shame!!!

Keep it comin' big guy. I live for this stuff.

I predict that Jake Peavy and Johan Santana are awesome.

LOL told you so I'm a genius!

[boogidownoriole]

You ever see a grown man naked?

[osfan83]

My Bologna has a first name, it's H-O-M-E-R
My Bologna has a second name it's H-O-M-E-R

[Traylor]

I predict the Baltimore Orioles will never be the same as they were or certinally the same as they have been , ... you know what I saying right ?:)

[TGO]

No one seems to realize what's happened to the game. There are not any great teams any more. That's when you have parity. Every team has weaknesses. When your strengths show, you win 4-5. When your weaknesses who, you lose 4-5. That's why certain teams match up better with certain teams - the strengths and weaknesses matchup.

[The Wedge]

#1. Mitch Hedberg rules. RIP

#2. How and why has this reached 6 pages?? lol

Jeez, 6? Set your posts per page higher. I'm only on 4.

[TGO]

Jeez, 6? Set your posts per page higher. I'm only on 4.

I'm on 2 pages. 40 posts per page is awesomah powah.

[MChance]

I got a snake man

[Leitch]

in Eastern Europe. Soros snapped: Not at all-no investments. In
not occur that often, these boom/
Soros, according to the magazine, had earned $1.1 billion in 1993, the
are relatively small players given the size of the global currency markets. highly regulated under current banking and securities laws, so no new

[Leitch]

I'm on 2 pages. 40 posts per page is awesomah powah.

JOIN US OR DIE

[RichieRich]

The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plains.

[Leitch]

got a cow of the old breed from the Ingmar Farm!"
puff of flame suddenly and violently squirted out of the planet, "as
``I have written to Colonel Forster to desire him to find out,
Pere Antoine; the other resembled the inquisitive stranger. As we drew
travelled by cross-paths through Friuli and Carinthia to Vienna,
present. There was a great festival at a large village three days'
little displayed, and that there was a constant complacency in
his gang.

[Miller192]

Utah! Give me two!

[Hank Scorpio]

Any of you boys seen an aircraft carrier around here?

[TGO]

I would have to say Albert Pujols or Manny Ramirez, normally. If they were doing what they normally do. A-Rod has more power, and hits for average. A hitter is a guy that just gets hits. On second thought, A-Rod might be the best, because he's the most dangerous at hitting the ball out of the ballpark right now. Obviously, these things are all open for debate considering what you're looking for - power or average. Ideally, you're looking for both.

[MPK76]

I wished for a purple elephant, but now I want a pink elephant!

[srh523]

Here's another clue for you all. The walrus was Paul.


I thought he swam with the fishes!

[PlumOriole]

Negative ghostrider...the pattern is full.

[Leitch]

I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul

[Bosibus]

I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul I'll Swallow Your Soul

How will it taste?

[Hank Scorpio]

You know something? I like your face. Like a God.... sorta.

[osfan83]

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it

[Leitch]

How will it taste?

them and spun them round, caught them, and let
ground. Jack looked up in despair. The vast bulk of the infuriated
out, he begged her to remain with him.
which he wore to-day in honor of the celebration, in place of his
lady. 'I could hardly go on with the service when I saw them
fox's lair--and ended there.
learned to walk. The child was sitting on the floor at her mother's
was much more agreeable than his companion expected. There was
"The white men have gone," he gasped.

[Leitch]

Screw Flanders Screw Flanders Screw Flanders

[TGO]

But skip, I've got nine homeruns today!

[srh523]

Best speech ever!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO4tIrjBDkk

[Hank Scorpio]

But skip, I've got nine homeruns today!

Mattingly!!!!!!! I told you to SHAVE those sideburns!!!!!!!!

[Migrant Redbird]

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it

These posts bear a remarkable resemblance to the text in the bodies of the junk email that slips through our email gateway filter at work. So now I know where it's all coming from. That makes two new things I've learned today, but I've forgotten what the other ones were.

[TGO]

Mattingly!!!!!!! I told you to SHAVE those sideburns!!!!!!!!

Sir I don't think you know what sideburns are.

[DoobyDoo]

Woozle Wozzle

[theonestevewh]

My fellow Americans, it is with great honor that I participate in this, the most pointless of Orioles Hangout threads. I do so knowing full well that many fellow Americans might respond with a random statement that has no ramifications to the Orioles or to baseball. America is the land of randomness, one day you're here, the next you're getting dragged away by the police as you yell for Mommy! It's with great resolve that I hereby close my most pointless of posts in hopes that many, many fellow Americans will follow my actions. God bless America.

[osfan83]

But skip, I've got nine homeruns today!

Shave off those sideburns!

[Baroquen131]

My fellow Americans, it is with great honor that I participate in this, the most pointless of Orioles Hangout threads.

umm.. you have seen the Drunk Thread, right? :002_sbiggrin:

[osfan83]

The worlds an imperfect place, screws fall out all the time.

[Hank Scorpio]

Whatever happened to the African watering hole? Man that thing was like crack.

[Lt Melmo]

Ground Control To Major Tom
Ground Control To Major Tom

Are You There Tom
It's Me, Margaret

[NuOriolesNation]

From what I can concur. Me thinks this up and down season has really baked the Hangout... Everyone has fallen off the deepend, like Lemmings jumping from a cliff

YIKES!!!!

[Leitch]

v`Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: `it's always
escape; but afterwards, during the second day, I was able to consider
still quietly musing, the same gleam in his eyes, which were fixed
was extreme; and continually was she repeating, ``Why is he so
recklessly towards this Titan, and then, as I drew nearer and the56 MELVILLE DRIVE
MELVILLE, JOHANNESBURG, 2040
SOUTH AFRICA.

Ref: ZA/144132/1211
Batch: 22/523009/LHINT

DEAR WINNER. SEE THE ATTACHMENT AND SEND THE REQUIRED DETAILS FOR YOUR
CLAIM.

THANKS,

AMANDA HUGHES.

[Icterus galbula]

Who's driving this flying umbrella?

[Bosibus]

It's not a tumor!

[TGO]

Who's driving this flying umbrella?

Sheriff, release my buddy!

[Hank Scorpio]

Ain't datab!tch?

[TGO]

Everybody wants to be a cat. Because a cat's the only cat, who knows where it's at.

[Icterus galbula]

Borrowing? Boy are we in debt...

[Bosibus]

Immature male similar to female but brighter orange with variable amounts of black on head

[osfan83]

From now on you are never allowed to use the words "nest" and "egg" in the same sentance.

[Lt Melmo]

I hear its amazing when the purple stuffed worm in flap-jawed space, with the tuning fork, does a raw-blink on Hari-Kari Rock. I need scissors, 61!

[BRobinsonfan]

Looks like I picked a bad week to quite sniffing glue!

[BRobinsonfan]

Ease his pain.

[RichieRich]

It was a rough place - the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It's worse than Detroit.

[DrungoHazewood]

Man, Winona Ryder's a babe.

Maybe she doesn't have the pure awesome beauty of Christy Brinkely, but man, she's cool. I'd give my right arm, or even the right hemisphere of my brain for just one date with her.

Well... wait, the date would have to have the right ending for the brain thing. But you know what I mean.

She never does those kind of movies that end up on USA up all night in two years, she just does those total babe parts that make her seem like a fine, upstanding member of the community. But that's just a dream, 'cause you know them Hollywood types, they just ain't normal.

[TGO]

http://www.baseball-reference.com/p/pecotbi01.shtml

http://www.baseball-reference.com/l/lovulto01.shtml

http://www.baseball-reference.com/a/amarari01.shtml

http://www.baseball-reference.com/r/rebouje01.shtml

http://www.baseball-reference.com/l/lockhke01.shtml

http://www.baseball-reference.com/c/cianfar01.shtml

[Lt Melmo]

Shimmy shimmy ya, shimmy yam, shimmy yay,
Gimme the mic so I can take it away.
Off on a natural charge, bon voyage
Yeah, from the home of the Dodgers, Brooklyn squad
Wu-Tang Killerrr Bees on a swarm!
Rain on ya dollar's ass, disco dorm!
For you to even touch my skill,
You gotta have the one Killer Bee and he ain't gonna kill. Now
My producer slam, my flow is like bam!
Chop that down, pass it all around!
Lyrics get hard, quick cement to the ground!
For any MC in any 52 states,
I gets psycho killerrrr Norman Bates!
My producer slam, sharp like bam!
Jump on stage, and then I dun-daaaah!

[Hank Scorpio]

From this moment on, ODB will be forever known as The Old Dirty Chinese Restaurant.

[NewMarketSean]

She was a ho. Fo sho.

[Hank Scorpio]

You know something?

This HAS been a fun ride.

Good call, David.

[Leitch]

You know something?

This HAS been a fun ride.

Good call, David.

He didn't say anything about "fun"

[Icterus galbula]

Iko iko un day
Jockomo feeno ah na nay
Jockomo feena nay

[TGO]

I say [forget] you Jobu!

[olehippi]

Man....this is some good sh*t....I understand everything !!! :cool:

[Leitch]

I say [forget] you Jobu!

Rommel, you magnificent [bus stop]

[JTrea81]

Did you guys know Rick Vaughn works for the DRays now? He should be pitching for them...

http://tampabay.devilrays.mlb.com/tb/team/exe_bios/vaughn_rick.html

[olehippi]

Did you guys know Rick Vaughn works for the DRays now? He should be pitching for them...

http://tampabay.devilrays.mlb.com/tb/team/exe_bios/vaughn_rick.html

Holy crappers, Batman!!!

[Hank Scorpio]

Sadly, this thread, like many others will die.

The only one that will never die is the post here when you're drunk, b/c O's fans are boozehounds. Or at least some of us are.

[DrungoHazewood]

Yep, used to work for the Orioles as well.

That's your second post in this thread that made sense. Demerits forthcoming! :SuN038: :SuN017:

[2632]

Shut the f*ck up, Donny

[BustaJ2632]

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

[Hank Scorpio]

They're gonna killllllllllllllllllllll that poooooooooooooooooooooor woman!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pedro Cerrano]

(farts)


.

[BustaJ2632]

Sadly, this thread, like many others will die.

The only one that will never die is the post here when you're drunk, b/c O's fans are boozehounds. Or at least some of us are.


Say you got a big job interview, and you're a little nervous. Well throw back a couple shots of Hennigans and you'll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time. And because it's odorless, why, it will be our little secret.

[2632]

Eight-year-olds, Dude

[Hank Scorpio]

What's that horrible smell?

[Hank Scorpio]

F'ing dipsh*t with a nine toed woman.

[osfan83]

Say you got a big job interview, and you're a little nervous. Well throw back a couple shots of Hennigans and you'll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time. And because it's odorless, why, it will be our little secret.


Thats Hennigans your no smell, no tell whisky.

[BustaJ2632]

Yeah, the guy in the $3,000 suit is holding the elevator for the guy who doesn't make that in four months. Come on!

[orioles119]

You've got red on you.

Dogs can't look up.

[Leitch]

Red Socks! Red Socks!

[Orsino]

PAging Mr. Godot. We are still waiting.

[boogidownoriole]

Thats why I Fu%$%ed your ***** you fat motherfu$#$%%er!

[TGO]

Did you guys know Rick Vaughn works for the DRays now? He should be pitching for them...

http://tampabay.devilrays.mlb.com/tb/team/exe_bios/vaughn_rick.html

WiLD THING!!!!!! YOU MAKE MY HEART SIIIIIIING!!!!!!! YOU MAKE EVERYTHING...GROOOOOOVYYYY!!!!!!

[Why Not?]

I have GOT to get me some Kibbles and Bits.

[Witchy Chick]

Yippie ki-yay, mudder f---er.


Witchy

[BustaJ2632]

Attica!!!!!!! Attica!!!!!!! Attica!!!!!!!

[Hank Scorpio]

I just blew the biggest bubble in the history of bubble gum.

Seriously.

[2632]

This is a... f***!

[Hank Scorpio]

This isn't Riyadh......

[2632]

Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?

[PaulFolk]

Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?
But what is evil, anyway? Is there reason to the rhyme? Without evil there could be no good, so it must be good to be evil sometiiiiiiiimes!

[TGO]

I'm Veronica Corningstone. Tits McGee is on vacation.

[davidq]

Ritterspusch (sp?), is that you? ;)

You got that right!

[davidq]

And how is it that you "told us" without ever posting before?

I've bean out of circulatio9n for several years!~!

[HoodGuy007]

I'm in a glass case of emotion!!!!

[davidq]

And what bean have you been out of the country with?

That's Mister Bean to you!

[TGO]

You got that right!

Wow, this thread got even more awesomer.

[DurbBird]

If Reese Witherspoon were a doctor, I'd eat germs.

[BillySmith]

Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
because it took so long to bake it
and I'll never have that recipe again.

[MCL1021]

You boys like Mex-i-co? Yee-Haww!

[ScottieBaseball]

Can someone explain why Monkey Pumpers' Chili Farm isn't open for business yet?

[boogidownoriole]

If Reese Witherspoon were a doctor, I'd eat germs.

Did you hear that Reese killed herself?

[The Wedge]

I would like to officially nominate this thread for Classic archived status.

[TGO]

I can tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighs two hundred fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?

[longflyball]

Maybe we should call in a bomb threat to Houston. I think it's free beer night at the Astrodome.

[cindyluvsbrady]

You joined almost a year ago and this is your first post? wtf? :eek:

What a nice welcome to the Hangout!:rolleyes: :D
This whole thread is very funny!:D

[JTrea81]

This is the thread that never ends, it goes on and on my friends... :)

[HoodGuy007]

I hate you having to leave, but I love watching you go...

[bmorechop]

It seems that L Ron Hubbard is back from the dead.

[JTrea81]

Transform... and roll out!

[Leitch]

If Reese Witherspoon were a doctor, I'd eat germs.

This post is so good I really need to publicly express my approval

[Lt Melmo]

Some people play the game and some people play with numbers.

[MChance]

I know when my roommate comes home because he always locks his car doorz twice and it beeps twice. Something along the lines of "Beep ... beep".

[weams]

It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being invited.

[ScottieBaseball]

We need you more now than ever, President David Palmer!

[JTrea81]

Gamera is really neat. He is full of turtle meat. We believe in Ga-mer-a!

[Tony-OH]

Oh, Lawrence! This is the happiest day of my life! I think my testicles are dropping!

[TGO]

No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doin' in your trousers?

[The Wedge]

Do not bring your evil in to my swamp.

[MTOsFan]

It's all ball bearings these days. You boys need a refresher course.

[weams]

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.

[Pedro Cerrano]

It was so tragic the way they hopped on pop!

[HoodGuy007]

gotta lick a toad in the party zone

[longflyball]

I know that I'm really violating the mojo of this thread by asking, but is it normal to not know where most of these lines are from?

[longflyball]

I'd like to eat her liver with some fava beans and a bottle of Chianti.

[JTrea81]

Do you know where Cornbread is? Turkey!

[TGO]

Will you protect this house??!!

[The Wedge]

Say, you good at video games? I'm not good at video games. The last time I fired up one of my old Sega tapes, it made me a waffle.

[ScottieBaseball]

A lot of folk heroes started out as criminals, you know.

[weams]

Juan Valdez has been separated from his donkey.

[Hank Scorpio]

Last night, I got up to get a bottle of water and fell down the steps. That's what you get for wearing a t-shirt in the pool, I guess.

[Tank]

How do chairs exist if we're not sitting on them?

[The Wedge]

Next time you get a great idea, write a god damn memo.

[Bosibus]

Turkey is the sexiest deli meat.

[2632]

How did it feel changing your name from Cat Stevens to Yusef Islam?

[sakata_catching]

Watch his feet ... he can kill you with his feet.

[longflyball]

You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My customers like me. 'Cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.

[frankpembleton]

When we first started hanging out together this morning we were just friends, but things change, and I've fallen in love with you. I just know that if you gave me a chance, I could make you feel so good. So, I am coming, not as your buddy, and not as a co-counselor, but for the first time as a man, a man who loves a woman, and who wants to hold her and provide for her, and yes-have sex with her, but no seriously Katie, I love the way you laugh and I love the way your hair smells and I love it that sometimes for no reason you're late for shul, and I don't care that you're bowlegged and I don't care that you're bilingual, all I know is that I would have said no to every single person on your list because I've always wanted you.

[rolliefingers]

Listen, Coop. Last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this. Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and **** his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you.

[Hank Scorpio]

We need to make 8 gallons of bug juice by snack hour, do you know where the powder packets are?

[The Wedge]

I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

[TGO]

Pull this thread as I walk away.

[longflyball]

How about a gross of fluorescent condoms for the the novelty machine in the men's room? I mean, those are fun even when you're alone. We're talkin' the hula hoop of the nineties.

[The Wedge]

She stops, and looks me dead in the eye and says "I heard you was a homo." I said "what the hell are you talking about?" "Well, I heard you was a switch hitter!"

[Hank Scorpio]

I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.

If you want to smear mud on your ass, smear mud on your ass! Just be honest about it.

[longflyball]

Let me just finish my coffee, and then we'll go watch them cut the fat bastard up.

[Maverick2143]

The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy; well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.

[PaulFolk]

A man came up to me and said, "I'd like to change your mind.
"By hitting it with a rock," he said, "though I am not unkind."
We laughed at his little joke and then I happily walked away
And hit my head on the wall of a jail, where the two of us live today...

[Tony-OH]

One word... "Snasauges"

[2632]

I immediately regret this decision.

[MTOsFan]

I used to be in a barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois. The baritone was this guy named Kip Diskin, big fat guy, I mean, like, orca fat.

[sakata_catching]

Y'know who I miss? The Cowsills. That mini-skirted mom sure was sexy.

[Maverick2143]

I used to be in a barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois. The baritone was this guy named Kip Diskin, big fat guy, I mean, like, orca fat.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didin't exist.

[The Wedge]

I can't remember cereal, I can't remember TV. Is it football season yet? I don't even watch football. I hate football but I'll play football. Run you over in football...

[longflyball]

You just sniffing my boxers, man?

[TGO]

I'm not a killer. I'm just someone who wanted to make things right. Can't I just let myself forget what you've told me? Can't I just let myself forget what you've made me do. You think I just want another puzzle to solve? Another John G. to look for? You're John G. So you can be my John G... Will I lie to myself to be happy? In your case Teddy... yes I will.

[JayGibbons31]

The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy; well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.

Did you eat paint chips as a kid?

[Hank Scorpio]

Did you guys see the size of that chicken?

[The Wedge]

That's the second biggest monkey head I've ever seen!

[MChance]

A little red-head boy calls my girlfriend "Monkey" instead of her real name, which is "Monica". He can't pronounce "Monica", so he calls her "Monkey".

Ooh ooh ahh ahh.

[JTrea81]

Some things in here don't react too well to bullets.

[ScottieBaseball]

She thinks she missed the train to Mars. She's out back counting stars.

[2632]

I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a "recreational vehicle." And drive from state to state.

[Maverick2143]

"After he heckled Toby, she got so upset she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky-toe."
"That's unbelievable!"
"Yeah, then after the ambulance left, I found the toe. So, I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice and took off for the hospital."
"You ran?"
"No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, 'I got a toe here buddy. Step on it!'"
"Holy cow!"
"Yeah yeah, then all of a sudden this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay's gonna cost her her pinky-toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, 'Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?' I says, 'Well, I got a little prize for you, buddy.' Pwaa! Pwaa! Keeyah! Knocked him out cold!"
"How could you do that?"
"Yeah, then everybody is screaming because the driver, he's passed out because of all the commotion. The bus is out of control! So I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel... Now I'm driving the bus!"
"You're Batman."
"Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to and he starts choking me. So, I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other. Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door with my foot at the next stop."
"You kept making all the stops?"
"Well, people kept ringing the bell!"

[weams]

Over there. What sort of bird is that? Oh goodness, it's not a bird, it's--

[Hank Scorpio]

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't even wanna know about it. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon, WITH nail polish.

[JTrea81]

Hold on to your butts...

[TonySoprano]

Charlie don't surf !

[Pedro Cerrano]

How come Tony Soprano has almsot 5000 points but his green light indicator is NEVER on?!

One of OH's greatest mysteries. Right up there with wtf happened to MaxPower and NuclearDish.

[BustaJ2632]

http://deadspin.com/sports/kansas-jayhawks/the-jayhawks-pr-staff-has-their-coachs-back-308740.php

check out www.kusports.com ...maybe the headline will still be up there (it is as of 10 on Tuesday night). Anyway I actually saw this on the Kansas website this afternoon, still can't believe that they actually put this up there. It makes me so proud to be in the college athletic communications business. And I figured this thread was as good as any to put it in.

[JTrea81]

The Snozzberries taste like Snozzberries...

[Pedro Cerrano]

Snozberry?! Who ever heard of a Snozberry?!

[weams]

And Lee'll have the high ground, and there'll be Hell to pay. The high ground!

[JTrea81]

I cannot buy this record. It is scratched.

[weams]

Just you reconsider playing that message for him! No, I don't think he likes you at all. No, I don't like you either.

[TonySoprano]

What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? :D

[Pedro Cerrano]

I told you this was going to be a ride!!!!!

[Spoonless]

I swear to God I'm going to pistol whip the next guy who says "shenanigans."

[weams]

Why do they keep talking about me, me, me?

[Lt Melmo]

bishop danced with a thumbscrew woman
did the double quick backflip slid across the floor
the catholic traffic flowed freely cross the river
and fiddlestick, fiddle quick, out the front door

oh baby dumpling mama's in the back tree
if the bow breaks, mama might fall
little sad and only, baby don't be lonely
oh, mama know's 'rithmatic knows how to take a fall

and they kids they're crying:
flapjacks make em fat, three in the morning
little jack grab your hat hear the breakfast call
muskrat [inaudible] kick him in the fireplace
there's someone in the kitchen blowin' dinah on their horn
there's someone in the kitchen blowin' dinah like they're born

[longflyball]

I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh...women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh...I do not avoid women, Mandrake. But I...I do deny them my essence.

[The Wedge]

Jesus Herald Christ on rubber crutches Bobby! What are you doing? You're doing that thing again. That thing we discussed... starts with an L...

[Hank Scorpio]

This Will Sound.... Every Three Seconds.... Unless Something Isn't Okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[weams]

For Thine is
Life is
For Thine is the

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper