Lt Melmo
06-13-2008, 11:16 PM
Please do not pay to see this movie. It is very, very bad. And I'm often an M. Night apologist. I liked Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, I liked Signs a lot when it first came out, I even didn't actively dislike Lady in the Water. But this movie is just too much.
After a lot of bad press around it, he said that it's supposed to be a B-movie. This isn't the case, because he was so obviously trying. B-movies aren't this bad, and B-movies don't disrespect their viewers so much. They're often made by people who just really, really love film--The Happening seems to be made by an egomaniac who is simply USING film.
Some bullet points:
-I usually love Marky Mark and Zooey Deschanel. Despite being talented actors, they're just horrible here. It might be because they have personality-less characters and crappy lines, and it might just be because they aren't directed well. Zooey never gets into her character, she mostly just responds to other characters with weird faces.
-Do you particularly enjoy the dialogue of The Wire? How it isn't crammed with exposition and doesn't make characters say things no person would ever say for sake of exposition? Then The Happening is not for you! This movie will make you want to die. Or just laugh a lot!
-Brings us to another problem: M. Night has apparently lost all connection to reality. He just doesn't know how normal people act anymore. The schoolroom scenes in the beginning attest to this in particular. It was amazing how unrealistic they were.
-Oh yeah, and then there's the actual stuff that happens in the movie. Characters are sure to say "happen" and "happens" and "happening" a lot, just in case we forget the movie has a title. Basically, people start killing themselves. They completely go blank and just find more and more eclectic ways to commit suicide. Have you seen Adaptation? Remember when Nic Cage's twin says, "I need a good way to kill someone... don't worry, it's for my script!" That is this entire movie. And M. Night wants to show us as much of it as possible. And he wants it to be really, really creepy, because everyone acts like creepy emotionless robots who do horrible things to themselves.
It's not creepy.
It's hilarious.
They are the goofiest scenes you will ever see. And not in a B-movie "supposed to be bad" kind of way--he really wanted to creep us out. There were certain suicides that had the entire theater laughing.
-That's the only redeeming part of this movie. You'll find yourself laughing a lot.
-And then there's the actual "spoiler" which as we all know isn't actually a spoiler because it's revealed so soon. It's completely absurd. It's completely preachy, to a point where even those who would agree most fervently with the "point" would just roll their eyes. And spoilers: a good 20% of the movie is spent trying to make trees look scary and intimidating. Because for some reason trees are emitting a toxin that kills humans, but it only affects humans in groups larger than five! For some reason! And sometimes it affects every single human but one, so that that one human can look at all the other humans and go "whaaaaaa?" As soon as you try to actually comprehend why any of this would happen, you break out laughing because there's ANOTHER establishing shot of SCARY TREES~!
There's so much more but I'm so sick of talking about it. Just don't pay for this movie. Pay for The Hulk. Netflix this crap if you want a good laugh, but don't pay nine dollars.
After a lot of bad press around it, he said that it's supposed to be a B-movie. This isn't the case, because he was so obviously trying. B-movies aren't this bad, and B-movies don't disrespect their viewers so much. They're often made by people who just really, really love film--The Happening seems to be made by an egomaniac who is simply USING film.
Some bullet points:
-I usually love Marky Mark and Zooey Deschanel. Despite being talented actors, they're just horrible here. It might be because they have personality-less characters and crappy lines, and it might just be because they aren't directed well. Zooey never gets into her character, she mostly just responds to other characters with weird faces.
-Do you particularly enjoy the dialogue of The Wire? How it isn't crammed with exposition and doesn't make characters say things no person would ever say for sake of exposition? Then The Happening is not for you! This movie will make you want to die. Or just laugh a lot!
-Brings us to another problem: M. Night has apparently lost all connection to reality. He just doesn't know how normal people act anymore. The schoolroom scenes in the beginning attest to this in particular. It was amazing how unrealistic they were.
-Oh yeah, and then there's the actual stuff that happens in the movie. Characters are sure to say "happen" and "happens" and "happening" a lot, just in case we forget the movie has a title. Basically, people start killing themselves. They completely go blank and just find more and more eclectic ways to commit suicide. Have you seen Adaptation? Remember when Nic Cage's twin says, "I need a good way to kill someone... don't worry, it's for my script!" That is this entire movie. And M. Night wants to show us as much of it as possible. And he wants it to be really, really creepy, because everyone acts like creepy emotionless robots who do horrible things to themselves.
It's not creepy.
It's hilarious.
They are the goofiest scenes you will ever see. And not in a B-movie "supposed to be bad" kind of way--he really wanted to creep us out. There were certain suicides that had the entire theater laughing.
-That's the only redeeming part of this movie. You'll find yourself laughing a lot.
-And then there's the actual "spoiler" which as we all know isn't actually a spoiler because it's revealed so soon. It's completely absurd. It's completely preachy, to a point where even those who would agree most fervently with the "point" would just roll their eyes. And spoilers: a good 20% of the movie is spent trying to make trees look scary and intimidating. Because for some reason trees are emitting a toxin that kills humans, but it only affects humans in groups larger than five! For some reason! And sometimes it affects every single human but one, so that that one human can look at all the other humans and go "whaaaaaa?" As soon as you try to actually comprehend why any of this would happen, you break out laughing because there's ANOTHER establishing shot of SCARY TREES~!
There's so much more but I'm so sick of talking about it. Just don't pay for this movie. Pay for The Hulk. Netflix this crap if you want a good laugh, but don't pay nine dollars.