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Hank Scorpio

Plus Member
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    21,397
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Hank Scorpio last won the day on December 19 2014

Hank Scorpio had the most liked content!

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13,747 Supreme Hangout Council Member

About Hank Scorpio

  • Rank
    Plus Member since 01/05
  • Birthday 4/3/1976

Personal Information

  • Location
    The Hammock District
  • Homepage
    http://www.theonion.com
  • Interests
    Lacrosse, Drums/Music, Golf
  • Occupation
    Middle Management
  • Favorite Current Oriole
    Chance Sisco
  • Favorite All Time Oriole
    Gary Roenicke

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  1. Hank Scorpio

    vs. MARLINS, 6/16

    I mean... you can’t throw 91 mph two seamers directly down the middle of the plate and not expect pain. Unless of course, you’re pitching against the Orioles.
  2. Hank Scorpio

    The Offense Thread, 2018

    I’m surprised there are 4 pages in this thread, honestly. Not much to discuss.
  3. Hank Scorpio

    vs. MARLINS, 6/16

    Good hitters don’t miss hanging sliders in the middle of the plate.
  4. Hank Scorpio

    The Athletic: Buck Showalter's Job No Longer Secure

    100%. It's the dark, ominous cloud under which we will have to live for a long, long time. We can have little victories here and there, maybe even once in a few decades win the division... but barring something unforeseen we will likely be owned by the Angelos family for a long time. The boys will have to prove to many that they are in fact different than their father. My expectations are not high.
  5. Hank Scorpio

    The Athletic: Buck Showalter's Job No Longer Secure

    I guess that happens when you convince someone to spend $161MM on a guy who falls off the planet shortly thereafter. That's a fireable offense in and of itself!!!
  6. Hank Scorpio

    The Athletic: Buck Showalter's Job No Longer Secure

    Who wants to manage this ridiculous tire fire?
  7. Hank Scorpio

    Life

    Thanks Tony. The battery for the Nikon is fully charged and our hospital bag is packed and ready to go. I'm checking my phone every 45 seconds to see if she's feeling anything yet. We're walking 2 miles every night hoping that helps. There were a lot of times in my life where I never thought this would happen, so I am completely elated.
  8. Hank Scorpio

    Extend or trade Bundy and Gausman now

    I would prefer to extend both of them if possible. It's important to constantly objectively evaluate what you've got and where you are as a team. The Manny "situation" isn't apples to apples for numerous reasons... but this is the same concept. Evaluate the talent, evaluate how/if they might fit into your next reasonably competitive squad, and proceed from there. I love Buck for everything he's done over the last 7 years but the knock on him has always been that "he likes his guys" to the detriment of the organization. The fact of the matter is that most people saw this window closing for a couple years now... except the Orioles themselves. As my Grandfather used to say to get a rise out of my Grandmother, "That ain't good, Steve-a-rino." There are a handful of guys on the roster who's talents are significant enough to keep them around longer term. This does not include pre-arb guys like Castro, Sisco, etc... in my opinion, they are as follows: 1. Bundy 2. Gausman 3. Schoop (yes) You could make a case for extending any of them. I think Schoop needs to grow up a little bit, but he's still only 26 years old. He's a guy that you try to extend now and get a read for where his head is. If you get Manny-like signs from him, then you keep trotting him out there and hope he reverts to his previous output. If you trade him now you're selling yourself short. I think a Schoop recovery is likely... and when that happens, THAT's when you trade him. NOW is when you extend him if you believe in his talents. You ALWAYS have to be objectively evaluating your roster and where you stand vs. the division talent wise. The Orioles should probably contract a third party evaluator to help them through it since they are demonstrated a gross inability to objectively do it themselves.
  9. Hank Scorpio

    Jones Trade Expectations

    One thing I would never in a million years question about Adam Jones is his effort. He was the right guy for the Orioles at the right time... 10 years ago. The organization sorely needed someone with a little swagger.
  10. Hank Scorpio

    Jones Trade Expectations

    The Orioles should behave like Costanza. Whatever their original inclination is to any situation, they should do the opposite.
  11. Hank Scorpio

    Does anybody REALLY care any more?

    I'm sorry sir, but our facilities are not equipped to suit your needs. What I'm saying is that a man of your..... carriage.... couldn't possibly fit into our seats.
  12. Hank Scorpio

    New California and the 52 States of USA

    Way too much red-tape and bureaucracy for this to ever happen.
  13. Hank Scorpio

    Does anybody REALLY care any more?

    While I was making dinner I flipped on the TV and it was tuned to MASN... so naturally the game was on. The following conversation occurred: Me to my wife: "How do you think they'll **** this up? I'm going to say a strikeout and then a double play." Wife: "I don't really care." Me: "You know what? I don't either." I then turned on the Simpsons episode where Homer gains 61 pounds so that he can go on disability and work from home. Pretty great episode, especially where he's sitting on the sofa watching TV trying to type on his desktop computer with a broomstick. Best decision I made all night. In hindsight, I think they actually K'd three consecutive times to blow that situation, but I can't confirm that 100%. I would rather watch pretty much anything at this point rather than Orioles baseball. That statement contains no hyperbole, no joke, nor any sliver of exaggeration.
  14. Hank Scorpio

    Life

    Thank you sir and congratulations to you. I shall keep everyone posted, I’m annoyingly overexhuberant these days. Thankfully I don’t have Facebook or Instagram or any of their ilk.
  15. Hank Scorpio

    Does anybody REALLY care any more?

    I care about listening to Joe Angel call baseball games. That's about the extent of it these days. That & checking the minor league boxes.
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