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larrytt last won the day on July 10 2008

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4,209 The Grand Hangout Council Member

About larrytt

  • Rank
    Plus Member Since 08/05
  • Birthday 2/27/1960

Personal Information

  • Location
    Germantown, MD
  • Homepage
  • Interests
    Table tennis, tennis, reading & writing science fiction & fantasy, presidential politics
  • Occupation
    Professional table tennis coach and writer, and science fiction writer
  • Favorite Current Oriole
    JJ Hardy
  • Favorite All Time Oriole
    Jim Palmer
  1. Shhh! Just finding anagrams isn't really the hardest part - you have to find anagrams of something interesting or funny, and recognize phrases that might be anagrammed into interesting counterpoints. (In my Top Ten lists I usually only use anagrams in one.)
  2. I'm ready! Um . . . can we play for money? One of my table tennis students tonight, age 12 and a huge Orioles fan - he knew the entire roster - discovered I had coached JJ Hardy, Darren O'Day, and Brady Anderson, and had hit with half the team in their clubhouse (Manny, Chris Davis, etc.), and went practically crazy, especially when I showed him pictures. I recently emailed the Orioles to see if they'd like me to bring in a group of top junior table tennis players again, as we did a few years ago, but no response yet.
  3. 10) We have a great starting rotation, led by Tillman . . . wait, never mind. We have the best closer in baseball, Britton . . . oh darn, skip that. We have Mancini smacking all those home runs as our starting . . . jeez! Oh wait, we have Trumbo, the best home run hitter in baseball last year and he’s . . . gosh darn it!!! 9) The pitching dominates. They have the best ERA in all of baseball on Thursdays (0.95), with 3-0 and 3-2 counts (0.00 [!] and 1.35), are tied with the most saves (10, with Colorado), and have given up the second least number of home runs (17, one more than Oakland, but they are over the San Andreas Fault and so won’t last long). And we actually do have the third best ERA in baseball at 3.41! 8) We’re 4-0 when Ubaldo starts. This guy solved the Rubik’s cube in 5.95 seconds, matching Ubaldo’s ERA, but probably gets paid less than Ubaldo’s $13.5 million salary. 7) The CE-7.5 is a rocket engine developed by the Indian Space Research Organization, which propels a ship to rocket speeds. Gausman propels baseballs to rocket speeds, but strangely his ERA is also 7.5. One of these is a good thing. 6) A long time ago in a theater far away, The Star Wars movie “The Force Awakens” opened. The Orioles (14-6) have awakened and are defeating the dark side of the force (Yankees, 12-7). However, some of the O’s Jedi hitters didn’t get the memo and the force is not with them – are you listening, Mr. Trumbo and Mr. Machado? 5) The O’s 14-6 is a .700 winning percentage. Only the Nationals (15-6) are ahead at .714. However, that rounds down to .700, and Baltimore is ahead of Washington alphabetically, putting us on top. (And guess where those Yankees sit, alphabetically?) 4) The Orioles are Fourteen-Six. Which, of course, is just an anagram for what the O’s hitters do when they come to bat – Exert Fusion. And for what they do when faced with poison pitches from opponents – they Refuse Toxin. And for what will happen when one major station gets together to celebrate O’s greatness – it Reunites Fox. And for what the O’s play better than other teams after each win – Foxier Tunes. And why O’s players wear nose plugs when faced with the stench of the Yankees and other evil teams – a Nose Fixture. And what the Orioles did in getting former Boston Red Sox pitcher Wade Miley – Free Sox Unit. And, of course, for the only way any team can possibly challenge the Orioles, with bribery and blackmail, To Ensure Fix. 3) When the O’s Don their uniforms, they Trump all opponents with the biggest crowds, the highest approval ratings, and the highest payroll. And as they bomb their opponents Adam Jones smacks them in the face with the most beautiful chocolate cake. 2) The Orioles continue to dominate baseball with their explosive hitting when there are runners on first and second, with a .323 AVE, .432 OBP, .710 SLG, and 1.142 OPS. 1) We have Buck. That starts with B, that rhymes with T, that stands for Trouble!!! (With apologies to The Music Man.)
  4. He's an on-base machine, and many of us hold THAT in high esteem. He had a .382 OBP last year, .393 against righties. (Next best was Machado's .343.) Obviously, we have to balance this against his below average speed and defense, with much of the discussion really about just how far below average he is in these, and how much his OBP compensates for this. Give him credit for what he does really well, which is getting on base against righty pitchers. Having said this, I secretly would like to see Rickard as the everyday leadoff hitter, but he has to prove himself first.
  5. Key words here are "starting gig." But as a platoon player against lefties? Last year in 90 PA's he had an .861 OPS (.313/.367/.494). He also pounded the ball in the minors in 2015 (697 PAs, .849 OPS including.401 OBP) and in spring training 2016 (1.044 OPS) and 2017 (.923 OPS). Unless he plays himself out of it, he's our guy against lefties, and this is sort of his audition year for possible long-term starter/leadoff hitter.
  6. 10) You generally want a fast player at leadoff. A good indicator of this is how many triples they hit. The Orioles as a team hit a total of 6 triples last year, the all-time record for fewest by a team. Thirty-four individual players hit 6 or more triples last year. On Sept. 3, 1894, the Baltimore Orioles hit 9 triples in one game. Maybe we should just give up. 9) Eddie Gaedel was the best leadoff hitter the St. Louis Browns ever had, with a 1.000 on base percentage, and the Browns became the Orioles. Bring him back. I’m not the only one who believes this – from 1977-1988, and again in 1996, Orioles fans regularly chanted “Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!” Sadly, the O’s didn’t listen, and Gaedel now plays for the Angels. 8) Who needs a leadoff hitter when you’ve got King Kong, Godzilla, Superman, and The Hulk coming up? Let’s just spot the rest of the division the leadoff spot and stop worrying about it. 7) We could put Hyun Soo Kim in the leadoff position, but let’s face it, he’s just a Noisy Hokum, which is his name with the letters rearranged. (So sneaky!) In fact, when asked if he could lead off, Kim anagrammed his distress, saying, “I mushy, no OK.” 6) We could put Joey Rickard in the leadoff position, but that’s even worse. He carries around a Racy Joker ID, every night he goes for a Joky Car Ride, and when he orders dinner, he asks for Acid Or Jerky. (Yes, we manage the Orioles by anagrams. Which is why we should just feed a baby horse and bat it leadoff, since Fed Foal is just an anagram for Leadoff.) 5) Before we can anoint Kim as the leadoff hitter, he has to pass one test – he must beat Showalter in a race to first base. So far it’s Showalter five, Kim zero. (Simple solution – sign a free agent who is faster than Kim as a pinch runner. Dave Ortiz is available.) 4) Adam Jones became our main leadoff hitter last year. Adam Jones had a .310 on base percentage. If you are thinking of Adam Jones as our leadoff hitter, please repeat that ten times. Two Oriole PITCHERS had higher on base percentages. The next person who suggests Adam Jones leads off gets shot with a .310. 3) The only Oriole who really gets a lot of walks is Chris Davis, who had 88 last year. Why does he get so many walks? Because pitchers are afraid that he’ll hit a home run, and so they walk him. So why hasn’t anyone told Joey Rickard this? All he has to do is hit lots of home runs, and the walks will come, and he’ll be a great leadoff hitter! Duh!!! (I sometimes think I’m the only one who understands baseball.) 2) Anyone with basic math ability knows that we should bat JJ Hardy leadoff. He had an on base percentage of .253 in 2015, .309 in 2016, leading to the obvious conclusion that he’ll have an on base percentage of .365 in 2017. And just wait for 2018 (.421), and 2019 (.477), and 2020 (.533) and . . . . 1) What do we need a leadoff hitter for? Just send “Bad” Ubaldo to the mound on opening day (it’s a home game), and we’ll never have to worry about something that’ll never happen. (Is there a mercy rule in MLB?)
  7. Against Righties LF Hyun Kim (L) (.393 OBP vs. righties) RF Seth Smith (L) (.351 OBP vs. righties) 3rd Manny Machado (R) (37 HR) 1st Chris Davis (L) (38 HR) DH Mark Trumbo (R) (47 HR) CF Adam Jones (R) (29 HR) 2nd Jonathan Schoop (R) (25 HR) C Welington Castillo (R) SS J.J. Hardy (R) Against Lefties LF Joey Rickard (R) (.367 OBP vs. lefties) DH Trey Mancini (R) (.384 OBP, .978 OPS vs. lefties in AAA) 3rd Manny Machado (R) (37 HR) RF Mark Trumbo (R) (47 HR) 1st Chris Davis (L) (38 HR) CF Adam Jones (R) (29 HR) 2nd Jonathan Schoop (R) (25 HR) C Welington Castillo (R) SS J.J. Hardy (R) Advantages Gives extremely high OBP at the first two spots in the lineup. Literal "Murderer's Row" from 3-7, who average 35.2 HR last year. Keeps two strong pinch hitters on bench for opposite-handed relief pitcher. Disadvantages Not a lot of speed except for Rickard against lefties. Against righties, lefties batting 1, 2, and 4. Mancini mashes lefties, but is unproven at major league level.
  8. Give the guy a break - he could come back. Just not this year as a starter. He needs to either get it together in the bullpen, go to the minors and get it together there, or sign with some very bad team in desperate need of pitching and willing to take a huge gamble. If we need an emergency starter, we have Worley and others. Barring injury or a player completely falling apart several times in a row, I don't want to see another game started by anyone but the five listed in the thread's title. They are now our Fab Five. I'd just love to know why they started Miley today instead of Gallardo.
  9. First the good, then the big question. The good: we now have a pretty good starting staff: Tillman: 3.68 ERA Gausman: 3.61 ERA Bundy: 3.82 ERA Jimenez: 3.24 ERA since allstar break Gallardo: 3.34 ERA in Aug & Sept in 6 of his 7 starts (leaving out that one disastrous one where he gave up 7 ER in 1.1 innings) So there's our five. Three of them have done well all year, one (Jimenez) has been on fire since the allstar break, and the other, our #5, has pitched very well in 6 of his 7 starts in Aug & Sept. These five could pitch us into the postseason, if the O's bats stay alive. (Add that O'Day will be back soon and our pitching is suddenly looking very good.) Now the big question: Why is Miley, with a 7.15 ERA that keeps going up, starting? With Tillman back, he shouldn't even be in the equation. Am I missing something?
  10. You eat food to live, but you can still enjoy a banana split. We may live for the Orioles making the post season, but we can still enjoy the home run record as our banana split. Just because something is more important doesn't mean we can't have fun with other things. And I am really hoping we can get that home run record!
  11. 10) Your average pitcher is 6'4", 220 pounds of muscle. Your average oriole is about 7" of fluff and feathers. It's actually a bit pathetic watching these poor little creatures rolling the ball toward the plate with their little wings, and yet some get paid as much as $13 million per year. 9) We have a great starting rotation, but Buck prefers to play them at first, second, shortstop, third, and catcher. The outfield could make up half the bullpen. 8) You try pitching effectively when people on are making fun of you. Many an Oriole pitcher has been known to cry himself to sleep after reading the hurtful things written about them. Manager Buck implemented a "No Internet" policy in the clubhouse to protect these young, sensitive minds, but the damage has been done. 7) Few people realize it, but Manager Buck didn't use to pilot the team alone - he relied on as his copilot on all decisions about any Oriole Pitcher. But too many hurtful things have been said, and so now he's trying to do it alone - and he's just not up to it. He needs to bring back his Copilot - after all, Oriole Pitcher is just an anagram for "Rehire Copilot." (Hey, fan managing worked before!) 6) Oriole pitchers don't need to pitch well. They only need an agent who can pitch their services, and those agents are the best pitchers on the team. ("Arrietta? Are you kidding me!!! You don't want that bum. You want my guy, Ubaldo!") 5) You don't need good pitching if you have nine guys who can hit 40 home runs. Okay, we're close ... imagine if Oriole hitters faced Oriole pitching!!! (Let's just hope the Pentagon never hears about this new force of nature that would make A-bombs seem like feeble-minded fireflies.) 4) The Orioles are looking for Pitching in all the wrong places - in the minor leagues, free agents, trades, and so on. How silly! They can find their pitching on picture night, where players pose for fans to take pictures - after all "Pic Night" is just an anagram for "Pitching." 3) No, you can't get pitching from a pitcher plant. But if we put a few of these carnivorous plants - really big ones - in the Blue Jay and Red Sox clubhouses, and perhaps we'll get rid of whatever pitching they may have, as well as their other players. And sticking with a flora theme, Oriole pitchers should burn all opposing sources of ash trees. Okay, all available sources of any type of wood. And plastic too, since a wifflebat would terrorize Oriole pitching. 2) In the mid-to-late 1960s, when the Orioles first became a great team, there was a TV show called Get Smart. It featured an organization called Control that battled the forces of evil. But apparently they lost, since Oriole pitchers prove there is no Control. 1) The Orioles just aren't Weekend Warriors. They are dead last in the AL in ERA on both Saturdays (5.83) and Sundays (4.79). What the heck are they doing on Friday and Saturday nights?!!!
  12. ...write a Top Ten list on why Ubaldo is the best pitcher in baseball.
  13. Big-dough Ubaldo stood on a mound, Wondering where his control could be found, All of Buck’s coaches and all of Buck’s zen, Couldn’t make Ubaldo throw strikes once again.
  14. Yes, I know, tonight our #1 starter didn't exactly do well either...
  15. 10) The Orioles starting ERA by Tillman, Gausman, Bundy, and the post-Allstar Gallardo is 3.76. The rest of the starters have an ERA of 6.68. According to Professor Davey Johnson (BA in math, Trinity University, 1964; Orioles 2nd baseman, 1965-72; Orioles manager, 1996-1997), 3.76 < 6.68. 9) The Curse of the Brooksbino. They keep trying to replace him with the likes of Ripken and Machado, but as long as they try to replace #5, their #5 will be cursed. The only way to break the curse from the GOAT third baseman is to sacrifice a goat at third base under a full moon (or a large bubble from Adam Jones) as . Or learn from the Red Sox. 8) Jimenez gets paid $13 million and has a 6.94 ERA. Jimenez Gets Paid $13 million And Has A 6.94 ERA. JIMENEZ GETS PAID $13 MILLION AND HAS A 6.94 ERA!!! 7) If we could just isolate the terror from our "good" starters, all would be well, since "Isolate Terror" is an just an anagram for "Orioles Starter." Of course, if we just give better shoes to our traitorous #5 starters, all would also be well, since "Resole Traitor" is another. Or just bring back someone who can make us better uniforms, since "Restore Tailor" is another. Or perhaps bring in a cussing fan, since "Saltier Rooter" is another. Or just cook a lingering fan, since "Roast Loiterer" is another. But for the moment, our #5 starters will continue to maximize their mistakes, since 'Totalise Error" is another. 6) They keep trying out new #5 pitchers. As long as they continue to Tinker, they won't Ever have a Chance. 5) Jimenez, Wilson, Wright, Miley, and Worley have started 51 games. For the love of God, WHY???!!! 4) Did we mention we're paying Jimenez (6.94 ERA) $13 million? That's enough to buy 8.7 million baseballs from Walmart. If you put 8.7 million baseballs on Orioles field (covering the entire fair area from home plate to the outfield walls), they would stack to a height of about 6'3". Tillman (6'6"), Brach (6'5"), Reimold (6'4"), and Trumbo (6'4") are the only Orioles who'd who'd stick out from under it. (Prof. Davey can verify all this.) 3) It's time to read our Orioles #5 starters their Miranda Warning. Ariel Miranda, before we traded him to the Mariners for Wade Miley, had a 13.50 ERA for the Orioles. Miley has been a major improvement, with a 9.53 ERA. As Prof. Davey can verify, 9.53 < 13.50. 2) Oriole 1-4 pitchers (Tillman, Gausman, Bundy, Gallardo) have committed 3 errors in 436 innings, about one every 145 innings. Oriole #5 starters have committed errors at about four times this rate, with 6 errors in 222 innings, about one every 37 innings. Oh, and the 1-4 starters are batting .200 (2 for 10), while the #5s are hitless wonders at .000 (0 for 3). 1) There's something really, really wrong when our #5 starter is out there and we realize our first baseman could pitch better. Or the rest of our infielders, our utility infielder, our catcher, our center fielder. Or the batboy. Or an old piece of Adam Jones' chewing gum.