The coolest post you ever made.

[MPK76]

I don't post enough to get a lot of rep (I really am not even looking to get rep), but I know a couple of people enjoyed what I had posted in the classic thread "Going to the bathroom at work".

HOW TO POOP AT WORK
We've all been there but don't like to admit it.
We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly
felt something brewing down below. As much as we try
to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is
inevitable.

For those who hate pooping at work, following is the
Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING
When farting, you walk briskly around the office so
the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a
whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful
when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has
been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the
smell has left your pants.

FLY BY
The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping.
Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are
others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be
careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may
become suspicious if they catch you constantly going
into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE
A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the
urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually
accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you
release an escapee, do not acknowledge it.
Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next
to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear
it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for
all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both
parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK
When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a
machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of
diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not
panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left
the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what
just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH
The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop
hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time
the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help
you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF
SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME
Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after
you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a
very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and
busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend
that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with
the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER
A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it.
You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter
the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or
her arm. Always look around the office for the
Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)
A group of co-workers who band together to ensure
emergency pooping goes off without incident. This
group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out
Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS
A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where
you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are
predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce
the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the
bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR
Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall
and tries to force the door open. This is one of the
most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur
when taking a poop at work. If this occurs,
remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves.
This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH
A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the
bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to
cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd
Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction
with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE
A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd
Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will
remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you
hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so
the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON
A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the
toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident.
If you feel a Watermelon coming on,
create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANNA OMELET
A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud
splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an
Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TED
A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever.
Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the
mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it
difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you
should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty.
This benefits you as well as the other bathroom
attendees.

[glenn__davis]

My favorite post that I made was when I wrote "Sam Perlozzo" to the tune of "Desperado". I don't really watch rep that closely but I'm pretty sure that was the one that got me the most.

[RavNMadMan]

I don't post enough to get a lot of rep (I really am not even looking to get rep), but I know a couple of people enjoyed what I had posted in the classic thread "Going to the bathroom at work".

This is very funny.....can't believe I missed it maybe it was before I started visiting/posting here. I hope you received a boatload of rep...well deserved I say

[RevOlution]

This is very funny.....can't believe I missed it maybe it was before I started visiting/posting here. I hope you received a boatload of rep...well deserved I say

Ditto. I thought I read all the posts in that thread, but somehow I missed it also. That's so hilarious.