Memorable Roch Kubatko quotes

Roch's not the most aggressive reporter in the world, but he is pretty darned funny, I'll give him that. This thread is dedicated to recording some of the funnier things he writes this season.

The ball beat Pearce to the plate by a mile, but Rays catcher Rene Rivera was lazy with the tag, falling to get low and allowing Pearce to slide underneath it. The Orioles challenged the call and it was reversed after a delay of 2 minutes, 34 seconds.

That's also how long Rivera had the ball before Pearce got to the plate.

http://www.masnsports.com/school-of-...just-fine.html

I liked this one, not necessarily funny, but on the mark wittily...

"Snider wasn't the only Oriole replacing Markakis. De Aza took over the leadoff spot and twice saw 10 pitches in an at-bat."

http://www.masnsports.com/school-of-roch/2015/04/wrapping-up-a-6-2-victory-on-opening-day.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

Sometimes I wonder if Roch moonlights under an alias writing for The Onion.

Sometimes I wonder if Roch moonlights as an alien writing for The Onion.

Yes yes so do I.....

Yes yes so do I.....

I'll third that. LOL

The Orioles will wait until Tuesday to activate Chris Davis from the restricted list. They're trying to maintain their streak of making roster moves.

Funny one.

Sometimes I wonder if Roch moonlights under an alias writing for The Onion.

He's clever, but that's a pretty high standard. Always been my dream job.

He's clever, but that's a pretty high standard. Always been my dream job.

I would have thought your dream job was Hawaiian Topics lotion boys?

I would have thought your dream job was Hawaiian Topics lotion boys?

There's always side work.

I have a hard time with Roch with all his two sentence paragraphs. But what I really don't get is the comments on his postings. They post things that are unrelated to the story and messages to each other. I guess I don't get his humor either. I prefer to read Steve Melewski's articles.

The Orioles weren't thrilled that the Yankees' Alex Rodriguez took approximately 17 minutes to step into the batter's box after being introduced as the pinch-hitter Tuesday night with two outs in the top of the ninth inning.

I thought maybe he got lost on the way or misunderstood and assumed that Major League Baseball was trying to slow the pace of the games.

Mychal Givens, who's required by law to be referred to as "converted shortstop," is throwing 97-98 mph with Bowie. His sidearm delivery amps up the intrigue over him and the Orioles are relieved, so to speak, that he wasn't taken in the Rule 5 draft.

http://www.masnsports.com/school-of-roch/2015/04/this-that-and-the-other-80.html

Instant classic.

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. - The Orioles took two of three games at Oriole Park at Tropicana Field, or OPATF for short, and moved above .500 for the first time since April 20.

The starting pitching had to improve if the Orioles were going to withstand the injuries and lapses in the field and on the basepaths.

Funny and true.

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">I'm now listed as "questionable" for tonight's game <a href="http://t.co/5Xjc1GGFCx">pic.twitter.com/5Xjc1GGFCx</a></p>— Roch Kubatko (@masnRoch) <a href="

<script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

Thanks to Frobby for finding it.

In a related story, I'm getting a haircut today.