Going to the bathroom at work

[McNulty]

Anyone like to drop bombs while online?

Yes. In fact, I have a friend who is always logged into AIM while he's at work. Since I work shifts, I always have a few days off during the week. I'll frequently log onto AIM, write some message about how I'm currently on the throne and I just wanted him to know that I was "Taking a Jim" (his name). Then I immediately log off and hope he's away from his desk and one of his co-workers will walk by and see it.

[McNulty]

Why is it that guys always have to spit when they are using the urinal? Its got to be someone on the DNA level, because I do it without thinking at this point.

[DuffMan]

I'll do my part to keep this thread going as well. This event happened a month or so ago, but I never mentioned it before, but seeing this thread again I've decided it to post here. So I head to the bathroom to conduct some business, check the first stall it's occupied, I then check the other one I take a quick glance thinking it's clear, well imagine my surprise as I'm opening the door, but to see one of my bosses sitting on the john reading the paper, he plays it really cool doesn't even look up from his paper and just says "hello", I blurt out sorry and close the door. I then practically run out of the bathroom and proceed to another floor to do what I've got to do. I did my best to avoid my boss for the rest of the day. I'm not 100% sure he saw/realized it was me, but if he did at least he was cool enough to never bring it up.

[Hank Scorpio]

Duffman..... can't breathe!!!!!!!!! Oh no!!!!!!!!!!

There's not a worse feeling than being at defcon 3 and walking into a full house.

[MChance]

I hate it when the bathroom is empty and I want to re-tuck my shirt. I don't want to do it in the open because, you know, you gotta unzip and such. So I do this in a stall instead. Now it's okay if no one comes in. But if someone does come in while I'm in the stall re-tucking, they are probably thinking that I am finishing up from doing my business. But I'm not! I'm just re-tucking! I didn't do anything with the toilet! Sigh!

[longflyball]

The other day a stall was already occupied when I entered a stall to do my own business. The guy in the other stall was whispering to himself. I heard him say, "It's hot in here." I didn't recognize the voice.

Today I was using a urinal and, without thinking, spit my gum into it. I flushed, picked it up and threw it away. Does this make me weird?

One guy is in and out of the stalls quite frequently, especially in the morning. One day I overheard a conversation where he mentioned that he had had part of his colon removed. That'll do it!

[cindyluvsbrady]

I hate it when the bathroom is empty and I want to re-tuck my shirt. I don't want to do it in the open because, you know, you gotta unzip and such. So I do this in a stall instead. Now it's okay if no one comes in. But if someone does come in while I'm in the stall re-tucking, they are probably thinking that I am finishing up from doing my business. But I'm not! I'm just re-tucking! I didn't do anything with the toilet! Sigh!

LOL
Thanks for making me laugh tonight!

[MChance]

What can be annoying than this? You get into the rest room and it's empty. The place is all yours. Nice! So you go into the stall, relax, and start doing your business. But then, out of know where, comes a loud and powerful knock at the door. The janitor! Argh! Why couldn't they come a few minutes later (or earlier)? Now you have to rush because that's the socially acceptable thing to do. You don't want to keep the janitor from doing their work. Then you wash your hands and leave and see the janitor standing there waiting for you to get the hell out. What was once an ideal situation has turned into a very awkward and rushed experience.

[Dipper9]

What can be annoying than this? You get into the rest room and it's empty. The place is all yours. Nice! So you go into the stall, relax, and start doing your business. But then, out of know where, comes a loud and powerful knock at the door. The janitor! Argh! Why couldn't they come a few minutes later (or earlier)? Now you have to rush because that's the socially acceptable thing to do. You don't want to keep the janitor from doing their work. Then you wash your hands and leave and see the janitor standing there waiting for you to get the hell out. What was once an ideal situation has turned into a very awkward and rushed experience.

Janitors!

Two of my buddies and I have been doing this annual camping trip thing. This was our sixth year. But, year one was in Wild Wood, NJ. So, our campsite happened to be the first one closest to the bath house. It was our camper, an open field, and then the bath house. Probably no more than 50 yards separated the campsite from the bath house. Well, when we do our trip, it pretty much consists of eating, drinking, and sitting around a campfire watching football. Without going into detail, I'm sure most of you know what happens to your digestive system when you consume massive amounts of alcohol. So I am in the bath house on the last day, doing my thing, when I hear the door open. Suddenly, I see a mop bucket throught the crack of the door. Next thing I know, a wet mop slops under my stall and whacks my feet! So then I don't know whether to get out of there and face these mongrel janitors who didn't watch what they were doing, or to wait it out until they left. I waited! I don't know who I was more angry at, the janitors...or my two buddies who didn't tell the janitors that the bathroom was occupied!!!!!!!!

[OregonBird]

I've been one of those guys who was at Defcon 3 at work. God only knows what the dude in the stall next to me was thinking.

I was working at the office building that houses the Galleria & Renaissance Hotel. A few colleagues (beautiful young 23 year old women) and I decided to eat Chinese for lunch at what was then a restaurant directly across Lombard St from our building. I think it was called The China Room at night. Anyway...BIG MISTAKE!

So we finished lunch and headed out of the restaurant when all of the sudden my stomach started gurgling and I could barely hold it in. These chicks wanted to go to a nearby candy store at harborplace but I had to make up a lame excuse why I couldn't go with them as I walked hurriedly w/my butt cheeks clenched to get back to the office.

[Dr. FLK]

We have a single bathroom on my floor at work. And, since people in the rest of the building don't like to share, they all come up here to dump. So...it gets repulsive in there by like 10am. And...why is it that no one can piss into a toilet? Are they this messy at home?

So, if I go in to pee...and the toilet is all nasty...I hate walking out when someone else is waiting. Will they think I was the nasty slob who pissed on everything but the toilet? Do I explain? Do I assume they know? What if I explain and they were the one who pissed on everything?

If you're an adult and you a) can't pee in a toilet or b) don't have the decency to wipe it up after you piss on everything...uggh.

[Hank Scorpio]

I really dislike people who are peeing in the urinal next to you and find it completely within their rights to rip a ridiculous fart.

"Great, now I've gotta hold my breath while I wrap this up. Thanks."

[McNulty]

Whats the official hand washing policy when you just use the urinal? I wash most times unless someone is going postal in the stall and I can't stand the aroma.

[ScottieBaseball]

God this thread is hilarious.

It drives me crazy when I approach the urinal to drain the dragon and the urinal and find it full from the last inconsiderate fella. You know what, dude? I don't want to touch the handle either! Out of respect for the next guy, though, I'll leave it like I found it and flush it when I'm finished. Germaphobe? Then grab a paper towel on your way in and use that to flush. Otherwise I hope you get cooties from the bathroom door handle.

[Dr. FLK]

God this thread is hilarious.

It drives me crazy when I approach the urinal to drain the dragon and the urinal and find it full from the last inconsiderate fella. You know what, dude? I don't want to touch the handle either! Out of respect for the next guy, though, I'll leave it like I found it and flush it when I'm finished. Germaphobe? Then grab a paper towel on your way in and use that to flush. Otherwise I hope you get cooties from the bathroom door handle.

I try to not touch anything in nasty public bathrooms. But, it's not that hard to at least use your elbow to flush. And if I use a stall, how hard is it to use your foot to flush?