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Thread: I told you this was going to be a ride!

  1. #211
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    How about a gross of fluorescent condoms for the the novelty machine in the men's room? I mean, those are fun even when you're alone. We're talkin' the hula hoop of the nineties.
    Just say no to free agent pitchers.

  2. #212
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    She stops, and looks me dead in the eye and says "I heard you was a homo." I said "what the hell are you talking about?" "Well, I heard you was a switch hitter!"

  3. #213
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wedge View Post
    I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.
    If you want to smear mud on your ass, smear mud on your ass! Just be honest about it.

  4. #214
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    Let me just finish my coffee, and then we'll go watch them cut the fat bastard up.
    Just say no to free agent pitchers.

  5. #215
    Maverick2143's Avatar
    Maverick2143 is offline Plus Member Since 6/07 Major League Starter Reputation Reputation Reputation Reputation Reputation Reputation Reputation Reputation
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    The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy; well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.

  6. #216
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    A man came up to me and said, "I'd like to change your mind.
    "By hitting it with a rock," he said, "though I am not unkind."
    We laughed at his little joke and then I happily walked away
    And hit my head on the wall of a jail, where the two of us live today...

  7. #217
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    One word... "Snasauges"

  8. #218
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    I immediately regret this decision.
    "It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone."
    -- A. Bartlett Giamatti

  9. #219
    MTOsFan's Avatar
    MTOsFan is offline Plus Member Since January 2010 Major Leagues Reputation Reputation Reputation Reputation Reputation
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    I used to be in a barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois. The baritone was this guy named Kip Diskin, big fat guy, I mean, like, orca fat.

  10. #220
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    Y'know who I miss? The Cowsills. That mini-skirted mom sure was sexy.

  11. #221
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    Quote Originally Posted by MTOsFan View Post
    I used to be in a barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois. The baritone was this guy named Kip Diskin, big fat guy, I mean, like, orca fat.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didin't exist.

  12. #222
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    I can't remember cereal, I can't remember TV. Is it football season yet? I don't even watch football. I hate football but I'll play football. Run you over in football...

  13. #223
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    You just sniffing my boxers, man?
    Just say no to free agent pitchers.

  14. #224
    TGO's Avatar
    TGO is offline Plus Member Since 11/05 Hall of Fame Reputation Reputation
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    I'm not a killer. I'm just someone who wanted to make things right. Can't I just let myself forget what you've told me? Can't I just let myself forget what you've made me do. You think I just want another puzzle to solve? Another John G. to look for? You're John G. So you can be my John G... Will I lie to myself to be happy? In your case Teddy... yes I will.

  15. #225
    JayGibbons31's Avatar
    JayGibbons31 is offline Plus Member Since 2/08 Major Leagues Reputation
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick2143 View Post
    The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy; well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.
    Did you eat paint chips as a kid?

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