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Thread: I told you this was going to be a ride!

  1. 10-04-2007 02:44 PM #211
    longflyball
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    How about a gross of fluorescent condoms for the the novelty machine in the men's room? I mean, those are fun even when you're alone. We're talkin' the hula hoop of the nineties.
    Just say no to free agent pitchers.
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  2. 10-04-2007 02:46 PM #212
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    She stops, and looks me dead in the eye and says "I heard you was a homo." I said "what the hell are you talking about?" "Well, I heard you was a switch hitter!"
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  3. 10-04-2007 02:55 PM #213
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wedge View Post
    I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.
    If you want to smear mud on your ass, smear mud on your ass! Just be honest about it.
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  4. 10-04-2007 02:58 PM #214
    longflyball
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    Let me just finish my coffee, and then we'll go watch them cut the fat bastard up.
    Just say no to free agent pitchers.
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  5. 10-04-2007 03:03 PM #215
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    Maverick2143
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    The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy; well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.
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  6. 10-04-2007 03:43 PM #216
    PaulFolk
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    A man came up to me and said, "I'd like to change your mind.
    "By hitting it with a rock," he said, "though I am not unkind."
    We laughed at his little joke and then I happily walked away
    And hit my head on the wall of a jail, where the two of us live today...
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  7. 10-04-2007 03:49 PM #217
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    One word... "Snasauges"
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  8. 10-04-2007 03:53 PM #218
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    I immediately regret this decision.
    "It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone."
    -- A. Bartlett Giamatti
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  9. 10-04-2007 04:05 PM #219
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    I used to be in a barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois. The baritone was this guy named Kip Diskin, big fat guy, I mean, like, orca fat.
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  10. 10-04-2007 04:20 PM #220
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    Y'know who I miss? The Cowsills. That mini-skirted mom sure was sexy.
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  11. 10-04-2007 04:29 PM #221
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    Quote Originally Posted by MTOsFan View Post
    I used to be in a barbershop quartet in Skokie, Illinois. The baritone was this guy named Kip Diskin, big fat guy, I mean, like, orca fat.
    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didin't exist.
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  12. 10-04-2007 04:32 PM #222
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    I can't remember cereal, I can't remember TV. Is it football season yet? I don't even watch football. I hate football but I'll play football. Run you over in football...
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  13. 10-04-2007 04:37 PM #223
    longflyball
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    You just sniffing my boxers, man?
    Just say no to free agent pitchers.
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  14. 10-04-2007 04:45 PM #224
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    I'm not a killer. I'm just someone who wanted to make things right. Can't I just let myself forget what you've told me? Can't I just let myself forget what you've made me do. You think I just want another puzzle to solve? Another John G. to look for? You're John G. So you can be my John G... Will I lie to myself to be happy? In your case Teddy... yes I will.
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  15. 10-04-2007 05:57 PM #225
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick2143 View Post
    The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy; well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.
    Did you eat paint chips as a kid?
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