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10-04-2007 07:44 PM #226
A little red-head boy calls my girlfriend "Monkey" instead of her real name, which is "Monica". He can't pronounce "Monica", so he calls her "Monkey".
Ooh ooh ahh ahh.
10-05-2007 02:27 AM #227
Some things in here don't react too well to bullets.
10-05-2007 09:15 AM #228
She thinks she missed the train to Mars. She's out back counting stars.
10-05-2007 11:09 AM #229
I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a "recreational vehicle." And drive from state to state.
10-05-2007 12:36 PM #230
"After he heckled Toby, she got so upset she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky-toe."
"Yeah, then after the ambulance left, I found the toe. So, I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice and took off for the hospital."
"No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, 'I got a toe here buddy. Step on it!'"
"Yeah yeah, then all of a sudden this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay's gonna cost her her pinky-toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, 'Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?' I says, 'Well, I got a little prize for you, buddy.' Pwaa! Pwaa! Keeyah! Knocked him out cold!"
"How could you do that?"
"Yeah, then everybody is screaming because the driver, he's passed out because of all the commotion. The bus is out of control! So I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel... Now I'm driving the bus!"
"Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to and he starts choking me. So, I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other. Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door with my foot at the next stop."
"You kept making all the stops?"
"Well, people kept ringing the bell!"
10-06-2007 10:31 AM #231
Over there. What sort of bird is that? Oh goodness, it's not a bird, it's--
10-06-2007 11:44 AM #232
You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't even wanna know about it. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon, WITH nail polish.
10-08-2007 12:19 AM #233
Hold on to your butts...
10-09-2007 09:36 PM #234
Charlie don't surf !
10-09-2007 09:38 PM #235
How come Tony Soprano has almsot 5000 points but his green light indicator is NEVER on?!
One of OH's greatest mysteries. Right up there with wtf happened to MaxPower and NuclearDish.
10-09-2007 09:56 PM #236
check out www.kusports.com ...maybe the headline will still be up there (it is as of 10 on Tuesday night). Anyway I actually saw this on the Kansas website this afternoon, still can't believe that they actually put this up there. It makes me so proud to be in the college athletic communications business. And I figured this thread was as good as any to put it in.
10-09-2007 10:13 PM #237
The Snozzberries taste like Snozzberries...
10-09-2007 10:23 PM #238
Snozberry?! Who ever heard of a Snozberry?!
10-10-2007 12:30 PM #239
And Lee'll have the high ground, and there'll be Hell to pay. The high ground!
10-10-2007 09:25 PM #240
I cannot buy this record. It is scratched.