Punched in the face by a random jackhole

**PaulFolk** · 07-09-2007 09:09 PM

So, on Friday night, I was walking to my apartment. I'm going down Baltimore St, about a block and a half away from 1st Mariner Arena. I pass a group of five or six guys (late teens, early 20s maybe) who are milling around.

"Hey, yo," one of them says behind me. I keep walking. "Hey, yo." He's right behind me, so I turn around.

"Hey, yo, let me ask you a question," he says, feigning as if he needs directions. "How do you get--"

POW!! All of a sudden, he punches me in my left jaw. Immediately I think he's going to go for my wallet. But he doesn't. He just stands there and stares at me with an obnoxious sneer. I'm trying to figure out what just happened. I'm thinking, "WTF?" (In fact, that's pretty much what I said out loud).

I start walking away. He starts to follow, as does one of his friends. They're blabbing about something, telling me to come back. Not being an idiot, I don't. After a few steps, they stop following. I head home without further incident.

So I ask you-- what kind of jackoff just punches a random passerby in the face? I mean, he clearly wasn't trying to rob me. Maybe one of his friends told the guy he'd give him $20 if he slugged the next person who walked by. But if that were the case, he'd probably just throw a punch and then run away, rather than continue to stand around.

Now that I think about it, my guess is that he was just trying to pick a fight. He was all juiced up or something, and thought, "I feel like fighting someone. Hey, how about that guy over there!" But seriously, did he really think I was going to fight a guy when, #1, I weigh 120 pounds and am built like Brandon Fahey, and, #2, he had five of his friends right next to him? What, do I have a death wish? I'm going to fight six guys at once, each of whom has at least 50 pounds on me? He learned a valuable lesson: don't ever pick a fight with ol' Paul Folkemer. Because I...will not participate.

(By the way, I hope this incident doesn't sour the non-city-folks' opinion of Baltimore. 99% of the time, you will not get randomly punched in the face.)

**Leitch** · 07-09-2007 09:23 PM

Holy crap. Something like that happened to me one day when I was 12. I was getting off the bus and a guy I went to school with like 4 years prior was all "Hey man, you remember me?" and I was like "Yeah, sure, you're x" and he just slugged me in the jaw and was like "That's for all that lip" and I was completely bewildered.

But even that was apparently for some perceived slight.

**rolliefingers** · 07-09-2007 09:24 PM

Dude, that sucks. I hope you're OK.

You know what really pisses me off? When people do ignorant crap like that...for no apparent reason.

Case in point: last winter, I had my license plates stolen and my passenger-side window broken while I was out in Canton. Now, I can understand the plates a little bit, because someone can use them on a stolen car (at least for a while). But the window? There was a huge book of CDs sitting RIGHT ON THE PASSENGER SEAT, and drum equipment in the trunk. Untouched.

Dude, seriously. If you're gonna bash my window in, make it worth your while, y'know? Smashing it and walking away is just a pain in my ass. At least I could understand if some guy wanted my CDs or my stereo, or something.

Likewise, if that guy wanted Paul's wallet, at least that would have made sense. But what kind of sick bastard gets off on punching some random dude on the street? It's the taking pleasure out of the mere act of violence, rather than material reward, that really disturbs me.

**The Wedge** · 07-09-2007 09:34 PM

Yeah, what a d-bag. Totally trying to pick a fight. Maybe they had just seen Fight Club again, or something. Or felt the need to "act hard."

If you ask me, though, you came out looking significantly more bad ass. You took the punch, and then just shrugged and walked away. That's Clint Eastwood-ian.

**gallden** · 07-09-2007 09:35 PM

Yeah thats pretty crappy that guys got some pretty big juevos

(sp?)

**Hank Scorpio** · 07-09-2007 09:39 PM

Actually..... that happened to me in Fed Hill when I was out one night with this girl I was dating. Some kid walked up to us and said something to her and then got up in my face for some reason. I figured he was just drunk and yapping right up until he punched me in the jaw. I was a little surprised - it didn't "hurt" really, but it really got my adrenaline flowing. His buddies were standing right there, so I wasn't about to get my @ss kicked by 3 random dudes. Then I pulled the dumbest line in the history of the world and said, "If you do that again, you'd better hope you kill me, kid."

lol...

Anyways, I wasn't about to escalate things. I ended up just walking away with the girl and wondering what would have happened if I had jacked him back.

In hindsight, I'm glad I didn't. Who knows if those dudes had knives or guns or what... but maaaaaaaaaaaaan, it was hard to swallow my pride.

**gallden** · 07-09-2007 09:43 PM

Originally Posted by burds13

Actually..... that happened to me in Fed Hill when I was out one night with this girl I was dating. Some kid walked up to us and said something to her and then got up in my face for some reason. I figured he was just drunk and yapping right up until he punched me in the jaw. I was a little surprised - it didn't "hurt" really, but it really got my adrenaline flowing. His buddies were standing right there, so I wasn't about to get my @ss kicked by 3 random dudes. Then I pulled the dumbest line in the history of the world and said, "If you do that again, you'd better hope you kill me, kid."

lol...

Anyways, I wasn't about to escalate things. I ended up just walking away with the girl and wondering what would have happened if I had jacked him back.

In hindsight, I'm glad I didn't. Who knows if those dudes had knives or guns or what... but maaaaaaaaaaaaan, it was hard to swallow my pride.

I've never been in a fight in my life but your right man it would be hard to walk away from that especially with a girl. But then it'd be worse to get beat up with the girl. But turning the other cheek seems the way to go.

**boogidownoriole** · 07-09-2007 09:44 PM

Originally Posted by PaulFolk

(By the way, I hope this incident doesn't sour the non-city-folks' opinion of Baltimore. 99% of the time, you will not get randomly punched in the face.)

Does this mean 1 out of every 100 people get punched in the face? I dont like those odds.

**BaltimoreTerp** · 07-09-2007 09:52 PM

"I don't know how many of them it would have taken to whip my ass...but I knew how many they were going to use. Which is a pretty handy piece of information to have right there."

--Ron White

**BaltimoreTerp** · 07-09-2007 09:54 PM

Originally Posted by boogidownoriole

Does this mean 1 out of every 100 people get punched in the face? I dont like those odds.

Dude, it isn't that way at all.

200:1, 300:1 odds, TOPS

**The Wedge** · 07-09-2007 09:54 PM

Originally Posted by boogidownoriole

Does this mean 1 out of every 100 people get punched in the face? I dont like those odds.

Sounds about right. Of course, the odds are much better for getting randomly shot, not punched.

**boogidownoriole** · 07-09-2007 10:01 PM

Originally Posted by Wedge

Sounds about right. Of course, the odds are much better for getting randomly shot, not punched.

Hey, Baltimore is my vacation destination 3 or 4 times a year. And I have yet to get punched in the face

**Hank Scorpio** · 07-09-2007 10:04 PM

Originally Posted by gallden

I've never been in a fight in my life but your right man it would be hard to walk away from that especially with a girl. But then it'd be worse to get beat up with the girl. But turning the other cheek seems the way to go.

Yeah, she was calling the cops on her cell phone. It was really hard, but I was glad I kept my head b/c if I hadn't it may have been my @ss. I would have loved to have broken my hand on that kid's face but I could see that situation deteriorating rapidly had I done something in retaliation. I was math minor and that night, the numbers were most definitely not in my favor.

**Hank Scorpio** · 07-09-2007 10:06 PM

Originally Posted by boogidownoriole

Hey, Baltimore is my vacation destination 3 or 4 times a year. And I have yet to get punched in the face

Hahaha everytime you come, you're rollin' the dice Boogie!!!!!!!!!!

I mean two nicknames for our lovely home are Brawltimore and The City that Bleeds.

Yikes.

**The Wedge** · 07-09-2007 10:08 PM

Originally Posted by burds13

Yeah, she was calling the cops on her cell phone. It was really hard, but I was glad I kept my head b/c if I hadn't it may have been my @ss. I would have loved to have broken my hand on that kid's face but I could see that situation deteriorating rapidly had I done something in retaliation. I was math minor and that night, the numbers were most definitely not in my favor.

There's this new show on USA called Burn Notice. At the beginning of the pilot, he's basically been kicked the crap out of, and is finding a way out. He leads two guys leading him in to a bathroom and starts to f' them up. As he does, the action freezes a bit and he voices over (which happens a lot...reminds me a lot of MacGyver, if MacGyver would have killed people and used pretty ruthless tactics), and says something like "when fighting someone, you should be careful to not break the little bones in your hand on someone's face. Which is why I like bathrooms, lots of hard surfaces."

Thread: Punched in the face by a random jackhole

Thread Tools

Display

Punched in the face by a random jackhole

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions