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Thread: Favorite Simpsons Quotes/Moments
11-19-2009 10:30 AM #1
Favorite Simpsons Quotes/Moments
So for my 1,000th post, and because the weather is crappy outside, I decided to highlight some of my favorite Simpsons quotes for some entertainment:
Marge: Well Homer perhaps you can take some solace in the fact that something you've created is making so many people happy.
Homer: Ooh, look at me, I'm making people happy. I'm the magical man, from happy land, in a gum-drop house on lollypop lane! ::Leaves room, enters again:: Oh by the way I was being sarcastic. ::Leaves room::
Marge: Well, D'uh
Homer: ::Staring at a man looking like himself:: Ah, this man is my exact double. That dog has a poofy tail!!! ::Chases dog, squeals like girl:: He he, come here puff, come here puff!
Mr. Burns: I don't like the park Smithers. For one thing there are too many fat children.
Homer: Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Mail Clerk: Ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name.
Homer: I don't know.
Ned Flanders: Well what the heck a roony is this thing Misses Glick.
Mrs. Glick: It is a candy dish Ned, $90.
Flanders: Well, I suppose you could put lots of stuff in...
Mrs. Glick: ::Interrupting & Shouting:: No, just candy Ned, $90.
Marge: How was the magic show?
Homer: What the hell are you talking about Marge?
Rex Banner: You're out there somewhere Beer Baron. And I'll find you.
Homer (off in the distance): No you won't.
Banner (Looking puzzled): Yes I will.
Homer: We're going out Marge. If we don't come back avenge our deaths.
Homer: Ok, I'll do it. But if anything should happen, will you do one thing for me?
Marge: Anything sweetie.
Homer: Blow up the hospital.
Marge: Hmm, well I said I'd do it, so I guess I have no choice.
Homer: Hey, robot, get your fat metal ass down here.
Bartender: First of all, I'm not a robot. Second, I got this metal ass in Nam defending this country for fat, lazy jerks like you. Now what'll you have partner.
Mr. Burns: Why it's that delightful tv leprachaun. I'm going to get your Lucky Charms ::Starts up a power drill::
Hans Moleman: Oh no, my brains.
Homer: Oh and that talking coyote was just a talking dog:
Dog: Hi, Homer. Find your soul-mate.
Homer: Wait a minute, there's no such thing as a talking dog.
Dog: Woof, woof.
Homer: Damn straight.
George H.W. Bush: If he thinks George Bush will stay out of a sewer, then he doesn't know George Bush.
Bill Clinton: Oh shoot, Quebec's got the bomb. Well I have to go, but if you're ever by the White House there's a tool shed out back. I'm in the most of the day.
Bart: Oww, my bones are so brittle. But I always drink plenty of, Malk?
And for perhaps my favorite Simpsons moment of all-time:
Enjoy. More to come, and please, by all means, add more!
11-19-2009 10:35 AM #2
11-19-2009 10:57 AM #3
Ralph: Hi Lisa, Hi SuperNintendo Chalmers.
11-19-2009 11:00 AM #4
Egghead likes his bookie book!!!!!!!!!!!!
11-19-2009 11:36 AM #5
I swear, that if I ever reveal the secrets of the Stonecutters, that my stomach shall become bloated, and my head plucked of all but three hairs...
Um, I think he should have to take a different oath.
Everybody takes the same oath!
11-19-2009 12:02 PM #6
11-19-2009 12:59 PM #7
Ralph: That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things.
11-19-2009 01:01 PM #8
Ewwwwwwwwwww, garbage water!!!!!
*looks up at the skies and shakes his fist*
You're pushin' me, baby!!!!!!!!!
11-19-2009 01:08 PM #9
U2: The sanitation folks, are jolly, friendly blokes. Curteous and easy going.
Edge: They clean up when you're overflowing.
Bono: And tell you when your ass is showing.
11-19-2009 01:25 PM #10
Look at this place! I live in a single room above a bowling alley and below another bowling alley!
11-19-2009 02:32 PM #11
Kerney: My divorce was tough on my kid, but he got through it.
Son: I sleep in a drawer.
11-19-2009 03:06 PM #12
11-19-2009 03:19 PM #13
Homer: I don't want to look like a weirdo. I'll just go with a muu-muu.
11-19-2009 03:27 PM #14The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, mash the entire keypad with your hand.
The number you dialed can no longer be accessed from this number, you negligent monster.
11-19-2009 03:38 PM #15
Another phone-related gag:
Homer: Look, I already encased the telephone in concrete.
Marge: How are you supposed to dial?
Homer: Reach into these holes! I use a carrot.
Marge: Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, how are the buttons dangerous!?
Homer: Baby could order poison!
Marge: Oh that's ridiculous!
[Homer dials numbers]
Phone Announcer: Poison Delivery Service! A gift basket of poisons is on it's way.
Marge: Oh I'm a horrible mother!
Lisa: Mr. Tatum, do you mind if I swab you with this damp rag.
Drederick Tatum: No, not at all, swab away. Woah woa.. nobody mentioned a beaker!
Lisa: Please! It's for science!
Drederick Tatum: Oh, for science? In that case, proceed.
Drederick Tatum: Hey, cut it out, I insist that you desist!
Nelson: Sorry! I'm so sorry! /punches tatum/ Please don't hurt me!
Drederick Tatum: You leave me little recourse!
Homer: That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets. But I'll just draw bunny faces on them to scare Maggie away.
Marge: She's not afraid of bunnies!
Homer: She will be!