Favorite Simpsons Quotes/Moments

[ShaneDawg85]

Homer: Trying is the first step towards failure.

Bart: I don't want another dog, I want Santa's Little Helper.
Homer: Well crying won't bring him back. Unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there and eat can after can of dog food till your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back. Or you can go out there and find your dog!
Bart: You're right, I'll do it.
Homer: Rats, I almost had him eating dog food.

::To the tune of the Flinstones::

Simpson, Homer Simpson.
He's the greatest guy in history.
From the town of Springfield.
He's about to hit a chest nut tree.
Ah!!!

[ShaneDawg85]

Homer: That horse better win. Or we're taking a trip to the glue factory...and he won't get to come.
Lenny: Yeah, it's a great tour. Can't do it all in one day.

[srock]

Monorail episode, I believe when Homer is announced as the conductor.

That's the one! Arguably the best episode of them all, although I prefer:

Dental Plan!

[TGO]

I call the big one "Bitey."

[ShaneDawg85]

I call the big one "Bitey."

Marge: There's a man here who thinks he can help.
Homer: Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?
Marge: It's not Batman!

[TGO]

You could call them Whitey-whackers.

[Icterus galbula]

Monorail episode

Marge: I Think the money should be spent on something the town can be proud of.
Homer: Like a giant billboard that says "No Fat Chicks?"
Marge: No.

[TGO]

Were you sent here by the Devil?

No, good sir! I'm on the level!

[PaulFolk]

Were you sent here by the Devil?

No, good sir! I'm on the level!

What about us brain-dead slobs?

You'll be given cushy jobs!

[scOtt]

That's the one! Arguably the best episode of them all, although I prefer:

Dental Plan!

Santos L. Halper

[srock]

Santos L. Halper

It was the best of times it was the blurst of times!?

You stupid monkey!

[srock]

Also from Dental Plan!

We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say.

Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

[Hank Scorpio]

Um, it's an honor to give ten thousand dollars to support Shut your Gob. Especially now, when the rich mosaic of cable programming has made public television so very, very.... unnecessary.

[scOtt]

I always loved the Sunsphere episode.





Sorry, couldn't find The Simpson's version.

[cmcgarvey]

I always loved the Sunsphere episode.





Sorry, couldn't find The Simpson's version.

Great quotes from that episode.
Homer: Doughnut?
Lisa: No, thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: [offers some of the doughnut he's eating] This has purple stuff inside. Purple is a fruit.


Martin: Well, I realize it's trite, but we could tour the bridges of Madison County.
Milhouse: Hey, who has better vacation ideas than AAA? According to the publisher of this AAA guidebook, no one.


Martin: Bart, can we stop for ice cream?
Bart: Yes.
[a little later, the boys all have cones]
Nelson: Bart, can we weigh the car at that weigh station?
Bart: Yeah.
[a little later]
Milhouse: Bart, can we pick up that hitchhiker?
Bart: I don't see why not.
[a little later, a disheveled hitchhiker rides between Martin and Nelson]
Hitchhiker: Bart, can we stop for ice cream?
Bart: Yes.
[a little later, they all have cones again]
Hitchhiker: Well, I don't think I was rehabilitated, but I guess they
needed the extra bed.

The end when Bart says he doesn't want to go back to the grammar rodeo because it's too commercial and you see the anger/contempt in Lisa then Homer and then you see doting motherly love in Marge is great as well.