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BaltBird 24

When to throw down, and when not to throw down

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A lot of this has to do with what I call "the James Bond Effect." (I may get kicked out of the feminists' club; I LOVE James Bond. I do. I know' date=' I know, but I can't help myself.) Ultimately, the thing that makes bad boys so attractive is the same thing that make hair flippers so attractive. Confidence. Not over confidence, which is a turnoff, but confidence balanced with intellect and humor and being completely comfortable with yourself. Those four things together are completely irresistable. James Bond is the total embodiment of those things. Scoundrel he may be, but he's my kind of scoundrel.

[/quote']

squEEze -- we'll start our own feminists club.

Connery = Best.Bond.Ever

Brosnan = Very.Close.Second

Dalton = Don't.Waste.My.Time

:D

ETA: My ideal scoundrel was (and still is) Han Solo. A smart-ass with a heart of gold. Cocky, arrogant, and absolutely full of himself. But a "nice man" when it came down to it. I've never been the same since. :D

Witchy

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This is nothing more than insecurity. You'll grow out of it. I'm probably the last woman on the face of the planet who needs a knight in shining armor. How I ended up with one I'm still trying to puzzle out.....

You got one because you don't need one... ;)

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Hate to make my concerns the topic of discussion oncemore but since her mom and my mom are puzzled about the entire scenario and we know that it's necessary to always be a good person, what advice may you have? Mcc stay out of this, we're not gonna hit golfballs off her face. :D

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Edgerrin, I don't know what to tell you. It's difficult to reason with an 18 year old who has men falling at her feet, because...well, because she has men falling at her feet.

However. As my grandmother used to say, this too shall pass. One of these days she will fall for someone. And that person will see what kind of person she is, and tell her to take a flying leap. And she will be crushed. And introspection will begin. Of course, telling her this will serve no purpose whatever; she won't believe it until it happens. We could arrange for it to happen if you like....

I kid. The best cure I've found for attention whores is to deny them that which they crave. Ignore them. Flat. Out. Ignore them. Walk away when they're speaking if you want to make a point about it. Of course, that tends to alienate people, but it does get the point across.

Another thing I've found has (marginal) impact is to sit the young person in question down and say "I love you. But you are not the center of the universe, and I refuse to treat you as if you are. Your attitude will not be tolerated, and you will be punished accordingly." And then, actually punish the behaviour that is offensive. Treating other people with respect no matter what you look like is a must, or you will end up a very lonely person. If her mom can't get through to her, the world is going to teach this child the lesson, and in a much more harsh and unkind manner.

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squEEze -- we'll start our own feminists club.

Connery = Best.Bond.Ever

Brosnan = Very.Close.Second

Dalton = Don't.Waste.My.Time

:D

ETA: My ideal scoundrel was (and still is) Han Solo. A smart-ass with a heart of gold. Cocky, arrogant, and absolutely full of himself. But a "nice man" when it came down to it. I've never been the same since. :D

Witchy

Okay, you're right. We WERE separated at birth. :P

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This is nothing more than insecurity. You'll grow out of it. I'm probably the last woman on the face of the planet who needs a knight in shining armor. How I ended up with one I'm still trying to puzzle out.....

I disagree there Squeeze. I don't think it's insecurity at all. I just don't like that kind of woman. Like you wouldn't want a wuss of a guy....I wouldn't want a tough type of woman.

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Edgerrin' date=' I don't know what to tell you. It's difficult to reason with an 18 year old who has men falling at her feet, because...well, because she has men falling at her feet.

However. As my grandmother used to say, this too shall pass. One of these days she will fall for someone. And that person will see what kind of person she is, and tell her to take a flying leap. And she will be crushed. And introspection will begin. Of course, telling her this will serve no purpose whatever; she won't believe it until it happens. We could arrange for it to happen if you like....

I kid. The best cure I've found for attention whores is to deny them that which they crave. Ignore them. Flat. Out. Ignore them. Walk away when they're speaking if you want to make a point about it. Of course, that tends to alienate people, but it does get the point across.

Another thing I've found has (marginal) impact is to sit the young person in question down and say "I love you. But you are not the center of the universe, and I refuse to treat you as if you are. Your attitude will not be tolerated, and you will be punished accordingly." And then, actually punish the behaviour that is offensive. Treating other people with respect no matter what you look like is a must, or you will end up a very lonely person. If her mom can't get through to her, the world is going to teach this child the lesson, and in a much more harsh and unkind manner.[/quote']

Thank you for the advice. To right she won't believe it right now. She simply lives in a little la la land because everything is so great for her and she realizes every guy drools at her and that they would kill to be with her. She would never ever believe what you just said. I will tell my mom to tell her mom this and I'm hoping that something might be done. I also like Witchy's comment that it's only a good barometer if she wants to marry an 8 year old.

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I disagree there Squeeze. I don't think it's insecurity at all. I just don't like that kind of woman. Like you wouldn't want a wuss of a guy....I wouldn't want a tough type of woman.

Well...yes, I understand that. But, does having an intellect and confidence enough to exhibit it preclude a woman from being feminine in your opinion?

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Also, Yuds, it's not that I was dissing you at all. Just that wanting a woman to think of you as her hero and putting you up on a pedastal eventually gives way to wanting to be loved and respected for who you are. Speaking as someone who's been on a pedastal....it gets mighty uncomfortable up there. Eventually, the person you hold up that high screws up, and you realize, they're not the god(dess) you made them out to be, but very human after all. Very disappointing for everyone involved.

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I do believe there's such a thing as a happy medium. :P It's possible for a beautiful woman to also be intelligent and fun and warm' date=' and NOT have fluff for brains...[/quote']

I believe it NOW, too... :)

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Well...yes' date=' I understand that. But, does having an intellect and confidence enough to exhibit it preclude a woman from being feminine in your opinion?[/quote']

Not in the slightest. I love women with a bit of culture and intelligence. And I certainly like confidence. It's just that certain types of personality in women are not my thing.

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Also' date=' Yuds, it's not that I was dissing you at all. Just that wanting a woman to think of you as her hero and putting you up on a pedastal eventually gives way to wanting to be loved and respected for who you are. Speaking as someone who's been on a pedastal....it gets mighty uncomfortable up there. Eventually, the person you hold up that high screws up, and you realize, they're not the god(dess) you made them out to be, but very human after all. Very disappointing for everyone involved.[/quote']

No sure, I definitely get what you're saying and you're 100% right. I'm working on not putting women up on that pedestal as we speak. It's hard though. You ladies have a spell over us. A true weakness.

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squEEze -- ya' got a keeper there. :D

Witchy

Yeah, I do. :) We promise not to get much more cloying, though. It gets really disgusting and embarrassingly adorable. We gross out our friends. Many comments of "Ew, I'm getting diabetes..."

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