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The Cleveland...Guardians?

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37 minutes ago, DrungoHazewood said:

I think we should note why every team's name is stupid:

Yankees - before the baseball team took the name wasn't 'Yankee' basically someone from New England?  Note: New York isn't in New England.
Red Sox - yep, they have socks and sometimes they're red.  By the way, it's spelled s-o-c-k-s.
Rays - Devil Rays sounded like South Atlantic league low-A team that was trying too hard to sell hats, so they dumped the Devil part...?
Blue Jays - There are Blue Jays all over the eastern US and Canada.  Was chickadees or hummingbirds or seagulls not available?
Orioles - I mean, I guess it's fine if you want a bird that is sometimes in Baltimore.
Tigers - Team from Detroit, named for a predatory cat from Asia and the Indian subcontinent.  Makes sense.
Mets - short for "Metropolitans", which are people who live in a city?  So, applies equally to Des Moines and Billings?
Cubs - they changed names like five times from 1880-1905, so when a newspaper guy came up with Cubs they were finally, like, fine... that's fine...
Reds - another in a long line of teams inventively named for the color of their socks.
White Sox - see Reds.
Cardinals - see White Sox.
Phillies - Horses?  Sure, horses.  Probably a better choice than "our fans are going heckle us no matter what we're called."
Pirates - When I think of a rustbelt city in western PA, I think of Johnny Depp or Somali gangs.
Brewers - Yes, Milwaukee has beer.  Schlitz beer, that's what you want to be remembered for.
Twins - Yes, there's two cities close to one another in the same state.  Like twins!
Braves - This isn't going to end well.  Especially after stealing the dumbest chant in the world from Florida State.
Nationals - Get it, we're in the National League!
Marlins - People in Florida fish for Marlins a lot more often than they go to the bad side of Miami to see baseball in an art deco dome they had to tear down the Orange Bowl to build.
Rangers - Otherwise known as cops from 100 years ago.
Astros - Go fake grass!  Or is it go space program!?  Something.
D'backs - I guess Diamondback Rattlesnakes just didn't roll off the tongue as well.  They do get bonus points for being a sort of recent expansion team that avoided a minor league name like Homicidal Snot Pigs.
Padres - Nothing gets a fanbase motivated like Spanish-era colonial monks.
Dodgers - Shortened form of Trolleydodgers, as in dodging Brooklyn's trolleys. Are there any trolleys in LA?  Did you have to steal Brooklyn's name along with their team?
The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, plus parts of surrounding Orange County - no comment.
Giants - I don't think the 1880s NY Giants were really that large, and, again, when you move have the courtesy to not steal another city's name.
Athletics - Are they really that athletic?  What's the quote... we're ballplayers, not athletes.
Mariners - Does anyone really think of merchant marines or the Navy or anything like that when you think of Seattle?  And what does that have to do with baseball anyway?
Royals - Is this another sock thing?  Or maybe named after the King of Kansas?
Rockies - Hey, it's the Rocky Mountains, which stretch from like Mexico to Canada, but we're taking the name because we're just not that creative.


Made me laugh, remember that a “Philly” is a female horse.

The Royals were named after a Stockyard. Better than “Cows”

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8 minutes ago, yark14 said:

New wrinkle to the story.  A Cleveland roller derby team is already named the Guardians: https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/32486789/roller-derby-team-sues-cleveland-guardians-stop-name-use

This is the baseball team's chance to say "Whoops, we better go with the Spiders afterall!"

Perfect. Plug in the “you guys play like a bunch of roller skaters” joke here.

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On 7/23/2021 at 1:52 PM, SteveA said:

Apparently there is a bridge in Cleveland that crosses the Cuyahoga River and connects the east and west side of the town, and it's not far from the stadium.   And the statues at each end of the bridge are known locally as the Guardian Statues.

So I guess there is some sort of local connection that Clevelanders would get, maybe like a Baltimorean might recognize the Domino Sugar sign or something.

But I still think it's a pretty weak name.   Doesn't move the needle in any way.

That they're named after the "Guardians of Traffic," makes it even dumber, at least in my humble opinion

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