Jump to content
orioles119

Help! Rejected Engagement Ring!

Recommended Posts

Last night, she gave me the go ahead to size the ring, but after a chat with her father tonight, she has reverted back to wanting the ring from the jeweler and not my ring.

Sounds to me like daddy dearest is part of the problem. First he can't keep his mouth shut about information you shared with him in private, then he encourages her to go back to the prima donna approach. If nothing else, it doesn't sound like you'd be getting a very good father in law out of this deal.

As for your girlfriend, I do think she's being shallow (and possibly unduly influenced by her father) but we are talking about something that she'd be expected to wear all the time for the rest of her life. Of course if I were her I would have let my boyfriend know soon after the relationship started getting serious that I thought the man and woman should pick out an engagement ring together to avoid such misunderstandings. Really I can't understand why anybody likes engagement rings. They are nothing but a waste of money and a source of unnecessary contention.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
We should all just keep quoting this from Tony's post, as it's all you need to know.

I was kind of horrified at your post really. That sounds like an awful situation. It sounds like your Mom is the voice of reason in this situation - I would trust her guidance.

And I'll quote you. :clap3:

I am very sorry that you have this situation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Really I can't understand why anybody likes engagement rings. They are nothing but a waste of money and a source of unnecessary contention.

See, this is the kind of answer you are looking for.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Really I can't understand why anybody likes engagement rings. They are nothing but a waste of money and a source of unnecessary contention.

I got married at 25, and my wife has a very modest ring. Now that we're a little more financially stable (if there is such a thing these days), we've talked about a significant upgrade. What can I say? I like computers, video games and home theater equipment - she likes clothes, makeup and jewelery.

She would never break my stones about it though, and if we do upgrade, it will be a mutual decision that's evaluated across the entire family's priorities and needs...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I got married at 25, and my wife has a very modest ring. Now that we're a little more financially stable (if there is such a thing these days), we've talked about a significant upgrade. What can I say? I like computers, video games and home theater equipment - she likes clothes, makeup and jewelery.

She would never break my stones about it though, and if we do upgrade, it will be a mutual decision that's evaluated across the entire family's priorities and needs...

See this is what I don't get. Computers, video games and home theater equipment you can do stuff with. With clothes, makeup and jewelry all you can do is put them on. :scratchchinhmm:

I don't mean to be insulting to your wife, I just really don't understand why so many women seem to find those things so interesting.

Edited by blueberryale77

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
See this is what I don't get. Computers, video games and home theater equipment you can do stuff with. With clothes, makeup and jewelry all you can do is put them on. :scratchchinhmm:

I don't mean to be insulting to your wife, I just really don't understand why so many women seem to find those things so interesting.

Tradition and culture. Dates back to dowries.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
See this is what I don't get. Computers, video games and home theater equipment you can do stuff with. With clothes, makeup and jewelry all you can do is put them on. :scratchchinhmm:

I don't mean to be insulting to your wife, I just really don't understand why so many women seem to find those things so interesting.

Its because girls have smaller brains. Its just science. They like shiny things. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I must be the luckiest man alive. I just asked my wife if she wanted to upgrade her ring or use the money for something else. She said a Cruise or something like that would make more sense. She also loves kitchen gadgets.

I remember one time I bought a kitchen gadget for this girl I used to live with and I didn't hear the end of that for 2 years. She was definitely a make up, jewelry, clothes woman. Maybe that's why we aren't together anymore.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Its because girls have smaller brains. Its just science. They like shiny things. :)

It's a status thing with women. Like guys want to have a bigger personal item women want the biggest rock. They feel that if they get the better ring they are somehow more valuable.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stories like this are the reason I'm still single :)

In all seriousness though, best of luck to you man. I wish I knew what to say, but this situation is a toughie.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
It's a status thing with women. Like guys want to have a bigger personal item women want the biggest rock. They feel that if they get the better ring they are somehow more valuable.

What about the men who sit there calculating how many months salary to put on their lady's finger? It's a status symbol for men too (and believe me, some men are very turned off by a woman not wanting an engagement ring.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
What about the men who sit there calculating how many months salary to put on their lady's finger? It's a status symbol for men too (and believe me, some men are very turned off by a woman not wanting an engagement ring.)

Like I said...dates back to dowries. The ring is the "price" you're paying to make the family union. It's actually fairly insulting when you think about it.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Last Saturday night, I had a chat with my girlfriend's father to ask for his blessing about marrying his daughter. I was giving the go ahead, but there's a problem. I had the ring and showed him and he thought it was pretty. Details leaked to my girlfriend about the ring and she doesn't like it.

I bought the ring back in May as a surprise and was valued at $4200. In June, we go to look at rings and she found one she liked. It was a marquise bridal set, with this happening a month after my purchase. I keep quiet about it that I have the ring, thinking that she would still like it because I thought the love counted.

My mother loves the ring and can't understand why my girlfriend won't like it either.

Last night, she gave me the go ahead to size the ring, but after a chat with her father tonight, she has reverted back to wanting the ring from the jeweler and not my ring.

What should I do? Should I offer an ultimatum? I don't want to do this, because I love her very much and I would be absolutely crushed to lose her over this issue.

I know if I go get the ring that she wants, it will make my mother furious and she is ready to say what she thinks about the whole situation herself to my girlfriend. I don't want that division to occur either.

I have become desperate to just rid myself of it and am attempting to sell it online. If anyone is interested, PM me (lol).

I was planning on proposing to her between Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve, but that is obviously delayed while I reevaluate the past 17 months with her.

So there's my sob story. Any advice from my fellow Hangouters?

Dear orioles119-

Did you just hear that? Yeah...that was your internal Wait-Just-a-Minute Alarm going off. You can pretend that you didn't hear it, but I know you did because you posted this story here.

Run. Run like the dickens. Get out of there and don't look back. This should be the happiest, most joyous event in your young life (until you have kids, that is). Instead, your effort in describing your pending engagement involved words like "problem", "ultimatum", "furious", "division", and "desperate".

Your girlfriend and potential father-in-law sound materialistic, insincere, and shallow. That, my man, is a story that doesn't end with "happily ever after."

Sincerely,

Scott G. Hoffman,

Happily Married Managing Editor, OriolesHangout.com

Edited by ScottieBaseball

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I must be the luckiest man alive. I just asked my wife if she wanted to upgrade her ring or use the money for something else. She said a Cruise or something like that would make more sense. She also loves kitchen gadgets.

I remember one time I bought a kitchen gadget for this girl I used to live with and I didn't hear the end of that for 2 years. She was definitely a make up, jewelry, clothes woman. Maybe that's why we aren't together anymore.

I could see a person who's not an avid chef getting offended by an unsolicited gift of a kitchen gadget, but not in favor of makeup. I was pretty disappointed when my mom gave me a vacuum cleaner for my 21st birthday. Unless a person is really into cooking, tools that you use for work rather than pleasure don't make the greatest gifts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Like I said...dates back to dowries. The ring is the "price" you're paying to make the family union. It's actually fairly insulting when you think about it.

Definitely. It devalues the humanity of all parties involved. And it's not too good for the kids working in the diamond mines either.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


Orioles Information


Orioles News and Information

Daily Organizational Boxscores

News

Tony's Takes

Orioles Roster Resource

Orioles Prospect Information

2018 End of Season Top 30 Prospects List

Prospect Scouting Reports

Statistics

2019 Orioles Stats

2019 Orioles Minor League Stats

Baseball Savant Stats







×
×
  • Create New...