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orioles119

Help! Rejected Engagement Ring!

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This is the one she fell in love with...

http://www.gordonsjewelers.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3304958&cp=2664341.2664354&pg=3&kpc=1&cp=2664341&categoryId=2664354&parentPage=search&searchId=33504000663

<a href=http://www.gordonsjewelers.com><img src="http://zgor.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/pZALEGORD1-3612776t240.jpg"></a>

Yikes! How could she do anything while wearing that ring? You'd have to take that thing off every five minutes unless you lead a very sedentary lifestyle. Even then, what about stuff like washing dishes?

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Well, you didn't get hammered too bad then...Without seeing it in person, it sounds like a $600-1200 ring.

In terms of the ring she wants...That is a cluster ring...Those things are dead in the water...Should cost just a few hundred dollars.

One single stone is always more valuable and really, looks better...What she wants is a cocktail or right hand ring...that's not really an engagement ring.

It looks there is a single marquise or an oval stone in the middle of that gaudiness...

Anyway my wife was hooked on an engagement ring, a solitare diamond on a celtic band. Once I found out how it was made however (setting was sautered on at a single point) I talked to a jeweler who said that my wife could lose the diamond quite easily if she were to smack the setting against anything. So I decided on a traditional ring instead and I'm glad I did because she's bent some prongs on the ring I gave her. As a compromise I bought the celtic band without the setting and that is now her wedding ring.

I'll agree with the other posters that the ring shouldn't be really important, it's the fact that you are asking her to spend the rest of her life with you that matters. And you can always get her a ring like that later in life for an anniversary gift...

Edited by JTrea81

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This is not complicated. Bring that sucker to a real good store, and you and her look at some diamonds together. You cut a deal with them getting the one diamond, you put up another many, many dollars. If she is young, then this is an investment in trust and working together. It's not like she is a prima donna for the rest of her life, or whatever the fear is. You gotta shape these chicks the way you want em.

Wait... you can't be serious. That's your idea of "trust and working together"? :eek:

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Well... to be honest, I agree, but the ring itself that I have has just been soured on my part. I definitely don't want to just give it away (someone said $450), but I won't go crazy over it.

I'm thinking anywhere between $850 - $1200 would be nice to get.

I agree though that it does look like an anniversary ring moreso than an engagement ring. However, we've been through so much together that I love her too much to just let go this easily.

However, I do think she's being unreasonable considering that I spent $1400 on her and now she expects me to spend $1500 when I don't make that much money to begin with.

I almost want to say... if you want it, you've got to help me pay for it.

Well based on what SG said, you should be able to get a ring like that for less than $1,500, but maybe based on what happened, it's best to get the exact ring she wants from the store she lists.

Good luck.

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Wait... you can't be serious. That's your idea of "trust and working together"? :eek:

lol

Yeah, that made me shake my head a bit.

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If anything the guy could get a cheap ring and then after she says yes, go look together, but that takes something out of it as well, since the ring you propose with wouldn't be the one she continues to wear.

This is something similar to what I did. I had bought her a very nice engagement ring for what I could afford at the time. We were in the process of buying our house and we weren't interested in getting married right away.

After 2 years of saving, we both went to the jewelry store and I traded the original ring I had picked out for a new, much more expensive ring. I had went back to the same store that I had bought her original ring at, and if I remember correctly, I was able to get most of the money I paid for the original ring put towards the new ring (It may have helped that I bought myself a very expensive watch at the same time :D).

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Yes, that's exactly how it is and has to be for every couple that gets married...

...just as long as both the bride and groom are robotic walking stereotypes.

And about the "surprise"... why should getting married be a surprise? The entire rest of your life is something you should both plan for together if you plan on living together forever. What's the point of playing games and not letting each other know whether you want to get married or not, then putting her on the spot one day and forcing her to make a split-second decision that she may or may not be prepared for?

Yeah, god forbid the groom want her to be surprised. Typically, men don't propose unless they are pretty darn sure that the woman is going to say yes. We're not talking about the guy who proposes on the jumbotron to the girl he's met twice. If you're pretty sure she'll say yes. You've asked her father. Why not want to try and surprise her with the time/place/ring? Getting married won't be a surprise...that's why the groom may want some part of it to be one. It's not a game. Maybe he just wants to feel like he did something special for her instead of just doing exactly what she has already planned out.

I dated my wife starting in 10th grade. I knew she would say yes. She knew I would ask. But, I wanted there to be some element of surprise and excitement in the whole affair. And guess what? She liked it...and we aren't even robots!

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Yeah, god forbid the groom want her to be surprised. Typically, men don't propose unless they are pretty darn sure that the woman is going to say yes. We're not talking about the guy who proposes on the jumbotron to the girl he's met twice. If you're pretty sure she'll say yes. You've asked her father. Why not want to try and surprise her with the time/place/ring? Getting married won't be a surprise...that's why the groom may want some part of it to be one. It's not a game. Maybe he just wants to feel like he did something special for her instead of just doing exactly what she has already planned out.

I dated my wife starting in 10th grade. I knew she would say yes. She knew I would ask. But, I wanted there to be some element of surprise and excitement in the whole affair. And guess what? She liked it...and we aren't even robots!

The "robots" comment was referring to the "it's all about the bride" part of the post referring to her buying an expensive dress and him renting a tux, etc. I was just pointing out that those things shouldn't be taken as inevitable. There are all kinds of couples who have all kinds of different weddings. As for the surprise aspect... maybe as TGO suggested I did take his use of the word "surprise" a little too far. I still think in the cases of most couples I've known who have had surprise proposals, it has been a matter of playing games and there's been much drama on the part of the girls about "why hasn't he bought me a ring yet?" and handwringing by the guys about when and how to do it and whether she'll say no. Why are you not engaged as soon as the two of you have had the conversation where you decided to get married? Is the material gift the thing that makes it official?

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Wow, this is some thread. I couldn't read it all but I feel sorry for you. This could be a hard lesson but valuable for later on in life. My wife picked out her own ring insisting on no diamonds, just a gold ring with bows on it. I thought she was the greatest woman (both looking and acting) I had ever met. We got along great when we dated, never quarrelled or disagreed about anything. After we got married things were peachy keen for a year until she got pregnant.

While pregnant she turned into someone I had no idea I had married. She was hostile, moody, irritated over the slightest even perceived offense, real or imagined and blew every little thing out of proportion including despising my Mother.

Unfortunately, 25 years later she still resembles mostly the woman who changed when she got pregnant, not the one I dated and was married to for a year. She also likes to remind me that I was too cheap to get her a real diamond (despite the fact she insisted on not having one) and when I recently asked her if she wanted a nice diamond ring for her 25th anniversary she insisted I give her money for a face lift so she could meet someone else!:(

However, she has also repeatedly told me she will never leave me because I have great Medical Insurance that covers her even after I die! I tell you this not to scare you from marriage but to make you realize that even if everthing is rosy when dating it may just be an illusion and not reality that will last. If there are problems while dating, just forgettaboutit!

Let's just say that if I were you, I would be doing like Scottie said. Put the ring on Ebay and vamoose into the next territory as they used to say in the old Westerns! Also, be thankful you didn't make a huge mistake in marrying someone you would end up divorcing most likely. :eektf:

Furthermore, when you do meet Miss Right, ask her to go with you to pick out the ring. As you can see, even then you may get blamed years later, but at least you tried.:(

I seriously mean every word I am typing here and urge you to follow this advice. Please!

I'm confused... back in May you started a thread seeking advice on buying a ring for your long suffering wife...

you said then:

My wife has been married to me for 25 years so she deserves some kind of medal. I just want her to finally have something nice. I see a lot of women wearing big diamonds and she certainly shouldn't take a back seat to any of them.

It sounds like you had a different story about your "long suffering wife" back then. If she's such a shrew.. why were you saying "she shouldn't have to take a back seat to anyone" in the ring department???

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I'm confused... back in May you started a thread seeking advice on buying a ring for your long suffering wife...

you said then:

It sounds like you had a different story about your "long suffering wife" back then. If she's such a shrew.. why were you saying "she shouldn't have to take a back seat to anyone" in the ring department???

It sounds like his situation got worse after he tried to buy the ring, for one thing.

But who really knows what's real.

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Couple things I really don't understand here.

Orioles119..You haven't been really clear about the Dad situation, and how she found out about the ring in the first place? The way I see it, you asked her did for his blessing, he gave it to you, and somehow word got back to you either from her or you that she didn't like the ring you showed her Dad? Correct me if I'm wrong, but this is shaping up to be a very awkward actual engagement whenever it happens.

Also what SG said about getting her imput...I agree with TS, what happened to the surprise in all this? Should the guy get down on one knee and go, "will you marry me, and if so, what ring would you like, and I'll go get it tomorrow?"

If anything the guy could get a cheap ring and then after she says yes, go look together, but that takes something out of it as well, since the ring you propose with wouldn't be the one she continues to wear.

There are lots of choices out there...Several different shapes, ring color, type of ring...Diamonds in ring or not?

The girl is going to be wearing that ring, in theory, for the rest of her life...She should like it.

You get ideas from her...Not neccassarily have her pick it out..just ideas.

Some woman have to have big...Some prefer smaller.

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Am I cheap or is $4,200 a lot for a ring? Damn!

"What's a 13 letter word for engagement? He went to Jared!"

Average us around $2800 in most places...We rarely sell one under 5000 grand though...Most of our customers buy bigger/higher end rings.

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Yikes! How could she do anything while wearing that ring? You'd have to take that thing off every five minutes unless you lead a very sedentary lifestyle. Even then, what about stuff like washing dishes?

Shouldn't wear your ring when you do that kind of stuff anyway.

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