Attribute movie quotes!

[Will]

OK, one more:

"F**k you, f**k you, f**k you, you're cool, and f**k you, I'm out!"

(my address to the team at the end of most games)

And you know the only cool one is Jamie Walker or Miguel Tejada, like, every game.

[sangell2007]

"You know what word I'm not comfortable with? Nuance. It's not a real word. Like gesture. Gesture's a real word. With gesture you know where you stand. But nuance? I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong."

-Sam Perlozzo, from Diner

"I will look through your treasures, gypsy."

-Flanagan and Duquette in the offseason, from Borat

"It's good to be the King."

-Peter Angelos, or Terry Crowley...either works...from History of the World, Part I

"Kiss me. When I'm being f*****, I like to get kissed a lot."

-Orioles fans to Angelos, from Dog Day Afternoon

[Malike]

Head or gut? - Daniel Cabrera to Sheff (The Last Boyscout)

Wright - "The deal was you bought it like you saw it. Hey, look, I've helped you as much as I'm going to help you.

Duq - See that car? Just use it for you're not welcome anymore. You should f*ck off now while you still got the legs to carry you." (Quote is Mickey from Snatch).

"You're on thin f***ing ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, f*** off." The OH to the Birds. (Snatch)

"You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity." Bullet Tooth Tony regarding Sam P. (Snatch)

[Cokeman]

I could while away the hours...conferrin' with the flowers...consultin' with the rain...and my head I'd be scratchin'...while my thoughts were busy hatchin'...if I only had a brain.

Perlozzo...Wizard of Oz

[Dipper9]

Peter Angelos addressing his players at the company Christmas party...

"Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Kiss my ass...kiss his ass, kiss your ass...happy Choneka!"

Christmas Vacation

[DrungoHazewood]

I don't believe no one has posted anything from Office Space. What better movie could there be to describe an apathetic team chock full of mediocrity?

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Free agent negotiations this past winter:

Mike Flanagan: Would you bear with me for just a second, please?

Alfonso Soriano: OK.

Flanagan: What if - and believe me this is a hypothetical - but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option equity sharing program. Would that do anything for you?

Soriano: I don't know, I guess. Listen, I'm gonna go. It's been really nice talking to both of you guys.

Flanagan: Absolutely, the pleasure's all on this side of the table, trust me.

Soriano: Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well.

Duquette: Excellent.

Flanagan: Great... Wow.

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(After the O's are 15 games out in May, and the team's just mailin' in it)

Miguel Tejada: This isn't so bad, huh? Makin' bucks, gettin' exercise, workin' outside.

Brian Roberts: F'in' A.

Miguel Tejada: [nods] F'in' A.

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Miguel Tejada: The thing is, Sam, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

Sam Perlozzo: Don't... don't care?

Miguel Tejada: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and the O's win a few extra games, we're still 15 games out; so where's the motivation?

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Flanagan: How dare you judge me? I mean what are you? You think you're some kind of, like, angel here? No, you're just this light-hitting... wanna-be ballplayer... man.

Freddy Bynum: Yeah, well, that may be. But at least I never slept with Angelos.

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Flanagan: What would you do if you had a million dollars?

Duquette: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two free agents at the same time, man.

Flanagan: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd sign two free agents at the same time?

Duquette: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; 'cause free agents dig dudes with money.

Flanagan: Well, not all free agents.

Duquette: Well, the type of free agents that'd double up on a franchise like the O's do.

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Paul Bako: Good evening Sir, my name is Paul Bako. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack but now I am off it and trying to stay clean. That is why I am trying to make your team as a backup catcher.

_________________________________________

Sam Perlozzo: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.

Jaret Wright: I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it, Sam.

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Sam Perlozzo: Jon, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you down to Norfolk. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?

Jon Knott: Excuse me, I believe you have my bat...

_________________________________________

JR House: Jon Knott and I are the best hitters they got at that place. You haven't been showing up, and you get to keep your job.

Freddie Bynum: Actually I'm being promoted.

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(At the press conference announcing his hiring)

Sam Perlozzo: Just remember, if you hang in there long enough, good things can happen in this world. I mean, look at me.

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[Nick is wearing shorts, sandals and a paisley shirt, swinging for the fences in the cage before the game]

Sam Perlozzo: So, Nick, what's happening? Aahh, now, are you going to go ahead and bunt for us this afternoon?

Nick Markakis: No.

Sam Perlozzo: Ah... Yeah... So I guess we should probably go ahead and have a little talk. Hmm?

Nick Markakis: Not right now, Perlozzo, I'm kinda busy. In fact, look, I'm gonna have to ask you to just go ahead and come back another time. I got a meeting with Mike and Jim in a couple of minutes.

Sam Perlozzo: I wasn't aware of a meeting with them.

Nick Markakis: Yeah, they called me at home.

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[The Wedge]

The Star Wars edition!

Perlozzo: Wait, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!

Trebelhorn: Apparantely not.

Every Free Agent signed: This deal is getting worse all the time!

Mazzone: Don't defy the fans, Sam. Not again.

Perlozzo: I must do what I must.

Millar: Monsters out there, leaking in here. Weesa all sinking and no power. Whena yousa thinking we are in trouble?

Duquette: Why do I get the feeling that we've picked up another pathetic life form?

Perlozzo: That was brave, boy, but foolish. I would have thought you'd have learned your lesson.

Mora: I'm a slow learner.

Perlozzo: You don't know how hard I found it, giving you the sign to swing away.

Markakis: I'm surprised that you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself.

Perlozzo (on stats): That's impossible, even for a computer.

Angelos: I don't know who you are or where you've come from, but from now on you'll do as I say, okay?

Bynum: I'm Freddie Bynum. I'm here to rescue you.

Tejada: You're who?

Perlozzo, to his relievers: Get in there, you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!

Trebelhorn: This is not going to work.

Perlozzo: Why didn't you say so before?

Trebs: I DID say so before.

Perlozzo: Not a bad bit of managing, huh? You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.

Collective Fan Base: That doesn't sound too hard.

Mazzone: We've analyzed their attack, Sam, and there is a danger. Should I have another reliever standing by?

Perlozzo: Change pitchers? In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances.

Tejada: Your friend is quite a mercenary. I wonder if he really cares about anything... or anybody.

Mazzone: I care.

Perlozzo: Hey Leo, I told you I'd make it.

Mazzone: It'll be like old times, they'll never stop us.

I could go on forever.

[ijoshyounot]

"Welcome to Good Burger home of the good burger can I take your order?"

Perlozzo at his next job...

too harsh?

[The Wedge]

Finally explaining his dour expression:

Mora: So I was standing at third today, and I realized, ever since I started, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.

Tejada: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?

Mora: Yeah.

Tejada: Wow, that's messed up.

[The Wedge]

Flanagan: Why do you need to wreck this team?

Perlozzo: Because it's wreckable, all right?

[tywright]

"Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today."

[sevens]

"Just a bit outside" To Daniel's rediscovered wildness.

I hope he gets back on track!!

[NewMarketSean]

"They're sh!tty."

Asian groundskeepers from Major League.

[Camden_yardbird]

BTW This is a great thread. Here are my contributions.

"He's a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d***less, hopeless, heartless, fat-a**, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped worm-headed sack of monkey sh** he is!

Hallelujah! Holy ****! Where’s the Tylenol?"

-OH thoughts on Sammy P (Christmas Vacation)

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"I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it."

-Tejada thinking about his last few years (On the Waterford)

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"Get busy [hittin'] or get busy [losin'].

-Orioles hitters motto

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"And I say, 'Hey, [sammy], hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.' And he says, 'Oh, uh, there won't be any [playing time], but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.' So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Jon Knott to Sammy, Sammy's response (Caddyshack)

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"The greatest trick the [Orioles offense] ever pulled was convincing the world [they] didn't exist."

(The Usual Suspects)

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"What we've got here...is failure to communicate."

Patterson to Mora after THE bunt (Cool Hand Luke)

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And to end...a baseball movie quote, slightly modified

"Is this [purgatory]?"

"No, it's [baltimore]."

(Field of Dreams)

[Will]

I don't believe no one has posted anything from Office Space. What better movie could there be to describe an apathetic team chock full of mediocrity?

That was my Parrish quote