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Jack Cust, back to the bigs!

markdublya

By markdublya
in MLB

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crstrobel AA

crstrobel

Posted
Posted
Ah yes... the one they call "Cust" goes to Oakland... and the one called "Knott" comes back for his revenge... I foresaw this... it is DESTINY.

The two dejected AAAAers will lead their respective teams in OPS, HR, and RBI. In the ALCS, they will meet upon the pitching mound at Oriole Park, whereupon they will kung fu fight for 40 days and 40 nights to determine who is the better of the all-hit no-field semi-major leaguers. Only after Cust trips over his own shoelaces will Knott vanquish him with his Splintered Bat of a Thousand Doubles. Orioles win the Series 3-2.

OMFG

You my friend will be recieving a bill from my company for a new computer monitor, as I have just showered it (and shorted it out) with coke. "Splintered bat of a Thousand Doubles" That is priceless!!:D

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Custer Newbie

Custer

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For many, baseball has become a world of numbers. A world filled with useless letters like OPS, ERA, WHIP or XGTSZQY. To those that clutch their decimal filled spreadsheets and calculators with the religious fervor or a born again accountant, the game of baseball has become a never ending duel of meaningless statistics. And with each equation, loudly and arrogantly proclaimed to have the ability to predict the future, baseball becomes a heartless and confusing exercise with loyalty to only the almighty numeral. For the apostles that pray at the altar of the decimal, baseball is a vain attempt to measure the human spirit. Unless your name is Jesus, you do not have the ability to use numbers to predict what a player will do in the future. And if you can, call me, and I will pay your way to Las Vegas.

Soon the journey will begin……… for the hyenas of hate, the time has come to whimper in the corner. Sweet Destiny is approaching……

And on a cool October evening, on a green pasture of competition, a long suffering franchise will again walk down its chosen path. And on that night, in a final irony, the chosen one will again wear an Orioles uniform and the final appointment with fate will be fulfilled. The Mighty Cust will be the fulfillment of all the hope, faith, and prayers of those that still believe baseball is a game that is decided not by numbers but by that which is not measurable…………the human heart.

I have just as much chance of getting it right as someone who says they can see the future based on a bunch of stats of The Mighty Cust from the minor leagues. But I have one big advantage……… I know that baseball is not a game played by calculators, but is played by humans and the HEART of The Mighty Cust will take him to his final destiny.

Behold the birth of a legend.

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Will Rookie

Will

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Literally or metaphorically?

I hope he literally falls down at some point but metaphorically sends some pitches into outer space.

I want him to succeed, for some reason.

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Tony-OH Hangout Grand Counsel

Tony-OH

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For many, baseball has become a world of numbers. A world filled with useless letters like OPS, ERA, WHIP or XGTSZQY. To those that clutch their decimal filled spreadsheets and calculators with the religious fervor or a born again accountant, the game of baseball has become a never ending duel of meaningless statistics. And with each equation, loudly and arrogantly proclaimed to have the ability to predict the future, baseball becomes a heartless and confusing exercise with loyalty to only the almighty numeral. For the apostles that pray at the altar of the decimal, baseball is a vain attempt to measure the human spirit. Unless your name is Jesus, you do not have the ability to use numbers to predict what a player will do in the future. And if you can, call me, and I will pay your way to Las Vegas.

Soon the journey will begin……… for the hyenas of hate, the time has come to whimper in the corner. Sweet Destiny is approaching……

And on a cool October evening, on a green pasture of competition, a long suffering franchise will again walk down its chosen path. And on that night, in a final irony, the chosen one will again wear an Orioles uniform and the final appointment with fate will be fulfilled. The Mighty Cust will be the fulfillment of all the hope, faith, and prayers of those that still believe baseball is a game that is decided not by numbers but by that which is not measurable…………the human heart.

I have just as much chance of getting it right as someone who says they can see the future based on a bunch of stats of The Mighty Cust from the minor leagues. But I have one big advantage……… I know that baseball is not a game played by calculators, but is played by humans and the HEART of The Mighty Cust will take him to his final destiny.

Behold the birth of a legend.

Not to ruin your creative writing assignment here, but weren't those stats guys on your side?

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RayFink1e Major Leaguer Cup of Coffee

RayFink1e

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For many, baseball has become a world of numbers. A world filled with useless letters like OPS, ERA, WHIP or XGTSZQY. To those that clutch their decimal filled spreadsheets and calculators with the religious fervor or a born again accountant, the game of baseball has become a never ending duel of meaningless statistics. And with each equation, loudly and arrogantly proclaimed to have the ability to predict the future, baseball becomes a heartless and confusing exercise with loyalty to only the almighty numeral. For the apostles that pray at the altar of the decimal, baseball is a vain attempt to measure the human spirit. Unless your name is Jesus, you do not have the ability to use numbers to predict what a player will do in the future. And if you can, call me, and I will pay your way to Las Vegas.

Soon the journey will begin……… for the hyenas of hate, the time has come to whimper in the corner. Sweet Destiny is approaching……

And on a cool October evening, on a green pasture of competition, a long suffering franchise will again walk down its chosen path. And on that night, in a final irony, the chosen one will again wear an Orioles uniform and the final appointment with fate will be fulfilled. The Mighty Cust will be the fulfillment of all the hope, faith, and prayers of those that still believe baseball is a game that is decided not by numbers but by that which is not measurable…………the human heart.

I have just as much chance of getting it right as someone who says they can see the future based on a bunch of stats of The Mighty Cust from the minor leagues. But I have one big advantage……… I know that baseball is not a game played by calculators, but is played by humans and the HEART of The Mighty Cust will take him to his final destiny.

Behold the birth of a legend.

That made me chuckle

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