Top Ten Reasons the 2023 Orioles are the Best Team in History

[larrytt]

10. When they play their “A” outfield of Anthony, Austin, and Aaron (sorry Cedric, you only get a “C”), and throw in Adley at catcher and Adam at second, it’s almost straight A’s!

9. They win even when they play their “B” pitching team of Bradish, Baumann, Bautista, and Bryan Baker, and even their “C” team of Cole, Cano, Cionel, and Coulombe.

8. Bautista (6’8”), Fujinami (6’6”), Gibson (6’6”), Rodriguez (6’5”), and #5 players Cano, Flaherty, Irvin, and Montcastle (all 6’4”) beat the Dream Team in basketball. (Sure, the latter are all about 60 years old, but still...) 

7. They dominate the major leagues in third-inning doubles (38) and ninth inning or later sacrifices (8), and they are on track to break the all-time record for third-inning doubles + ninth inning or later sacrifices set by the 1896 Toledo Mud Hens, who won the Interstate League that year with a record of 47-16. (Only one of these statements is not true.)  

6. Santander’s 27 home runs is more than Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, or Sammy Sosa ever hit *combined* during their peak years excluding steroid-aided ones.  

5. Bradish’s 3.03 ERA makes him the second scariest Orioles starter, but teams run in fear when they face the scariest, 6’4” Jack Flaherty and his 6.66 ERA. Against him, not only are they in danger of losing their souls, but all they can do is strike out or hit weak grounders, nothing in the air – after all, Flaherty is just an anagram for “Fly Hater.”

4. “Cool Hands Cano” is the major league leader in holds, which is appropriate since Cano Holds is just an anagram for Cool Hands. (Seriously, let’s start calling him “Cool Hands Cano.”)

3. Few people realize that rookie star Gunnar Henderson lied about his age and is only 17. He spends his free time furiously studying for his high school finals. Early in the season he’d scream “Doh!” when he got his practice math problems wrong and it affected his hitting. But Manager Hyde turned his season around when he banned Gunnar from studying in the dugout. Of course, Brandon Hyde is just an anagram for Ban Nerdy Doh. (Studies show that 97% of readers yelled “Doh!” after reading this.)

2. The Orioles absolutely dominate in T-Ball, leading the American League in both runs scored and OPS (.821 and .881) on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We’ll ignore Wednesdays and Saturdays, where they are #12 both days (.670 and .701).

1. How can the Orioles lose when one of their fans wrote “Soul Testing in Major League Baseball,” “The Pushovers of Galactic Baseball Fame,” and “Mummy at the Bat” (alas, not online – about a non-speaking mummy that becomes a huge baseball star).

Edited September 8, 2023 by larrytt

[OriolesMagic83]

12 minutes ago, larrytt said:

10. When they play their “A” outfield of Anthony, Austin, and Aaron (sorry Cedric, you only get a “C”), and throw in Adley at catcher and Adam at second, it’s almost straight A’s!

9. They win even when they play their “B” pitching team of Bradish, Baumann, Bautista, and Bryan Baker, and even their “C” team of Cole, Cano, Cionel, and Coulombe.

8. Bautista (6’8”), Fujinami (6’6”), Gibson (6’6”), Rodriguez (6’5”), and #5 players Cano, Flaherty, Irvin, and Montcastle (all 6’4”) beat the Dream Team in basketball. (Sure, the latter are all about 60 years old, but still...) 

7. They dominate the major leagues in third-inning doubles (38) and ninth inning or later sacrifices (8), and they are on track to break the all-time record for third-inning doubles + ninth inning or later sacrifices set by the 1896 Toledo Mud Hens, who won the Interstate League that year with a record of 47-16. (Only one of these statements is not true.)  

6. Santander’s 27 home runs is more than Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, or Sammy Sosa ever hit *combined* during their peak years excluding steroid-aided ones.  

5. Bradish’s 3.03 ERA makes him the second scariest Orioles starter, but teams run in fear when they face the scariest, 6’4” Jack Flaherty and his 6.66 ERA. Against him, not only are they in danger of losing their souls, but all they can do is strike out or hit weak grounders, nothing in the air – after all, Flaherty is just an anagram for “Fly Hater.”

4. “Cool Hand Cano” is the major league leader in holds, which is appropriate since Cano Holds is just an anagram for Cool Hand. (Seriously, let’s start calling him “Cool Hand Cano.”)

3. Few people realize that rookie star Gunnar Henderson lied about his age and is only 17. He spends his free time furiously studying for his high school finals. Early in the season he’d scream “Doh!” when he got his practice math problems wrong and it affected his hitting. But Manager Hyde turned his season around when he banned Gunnar from studying in the dugout. Of course, Brandon Hyde is just an anagram for Ban Nerdy Doh. (Studies show that 97% of readers yelled “Doh!” after reading this.)

2. The Orioles absolutely dominate in T-Ball, leading the American League in both runs scored and OPS (.821 and .881) on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We’ll ignore Wednesdays and Saturdays, where they are #12 both days (.670 and .701).

1. How can the Orioles lose when one of their fans wrote “Soul Testing in Major League Baseball,” “The Pushovers of Galactic Baseball Fame,” and “Mummy at the Bat” (alas, not online – about a non-speaking mummy that becomes a huge baseball star).

I heard the MASN stats department has an opening.  This is right up their alley.

[Sammy Seagull]

this is a joke thread, right?

[foxfield]

Welcome all newcomers to the Oriole Hangout Bandwagon. It has been awhile since we were treated to the stylings of  @larrytt   
 

It’s a mixture of wordplay, serious stats, humor and Oriole history. He’s one of the top 10 reasons some of us are here and he’s been away so long the swell of newcomers don’t seem to know what to make of it. 
 

Thanks as always @larrytt. 
 

It’s also a tip of the cap to the old David Letterman top ten list he did nightly back when people watched tv instead of their phones. 

Edited September 8, 2023 by foxfield

[Moose Milligan]

34 minutes ago, Sammy Seagull said:

this is a joke thread, right?

No. 

[Roll Tide]

3 hours ago, larrytt said:

10. When they play their “A” outfield of Anthony, Austin, and Aaron (sorry Cedric, you only get a “C”), and throw in Adley at catcher and Adam at second, it’s almost straight A’s!

9. They win even when they play their “B” pitching team of Bradish, Baumann, Bautista, and Bryan Baker, and even their “C” team of Cole, Cano, Cionel, and Coulombe.

8. Bautista (6’8”), Fujinami (6’6”), Gibson (6’6”), Rodriguez (6’5”), and #5 players Cano, Flaherty, Irvin, and Montcastle (all 6’4”) beat the Dream Team in basketball. (Sure, the latter are all about 60 years old, but still...) 

7. They dominate the major leagues in third-inning doubles (38) and ninth inning or later sacrifices (8), and they are on track to break the all-time record for third-inning doubles + ninth inning or later sacrifices set by the 1896 Toledo Mud Hens, who won the Interstate League that year with a record of 47-16. (Only one of these statements is not true.)  

6. Santander’s 27 home runs is more than Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, or Sammy Sosa ever hit *combined* during their peak years excluding steroid-aided ones.  

5. Bradish’s 3.03 ERA makes him the second scariest Orioles starter, but teams run in fear when they face the scariest, 6’4” Jack Flaherty and his 6.66 ERA. Against him, not only are they in danger of losing their souls, but all they can do is strike out or hit weak grounders, nothing in the air – after all, Flaherty is just an anagram for “Fly Hater.”

4. “Cool Hand Cano” is the major league leader in holds, which is appropriate since Cano Holds is just an anagram for Cool Hand. (Seriously, let’s start calling him “Cool Hand Cano.”)

3. Few people realize that rookie star Gunnar Henderson lied about his age and is only 17. He spends his free time furiously studying for his high school finals. Early in the season he’d scream “Doh!” when he got his practice math problems wrong and it affected his hitting. But Manager Hyde turned his season around when he banned Gunnar from studying in the dugout. Of course, Brandon Hyde is just an anagram for Ban Nerdy Doh. (Studies show that 97% of readers yelled “Doh!” after reading this.)

2. The Orioles absolutely dominate in T-Ball, leading the American League in both runs scored and OPS (.821 and .881) on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We’ll ignore Wednesdays and Saturdays, where they are #12 both days (.670 and .701).

1. How can the Orioles lose when one of their fans wrote “Soul Testing in Major League Baseball,” “The Pushovers of Galactic Baseball Fame,” and “Mummy at the Bat” (alas, not online – about a non-speaking mummy that becomes a huge baseball star).

They won’t have the most wins in team history. The 60s/70s  teams were dominant in a time when there wasn’t a great payroll divide and you don’t have to tank 3-5 years to build your resources.

This years team is good but I predict the team will be even better the next few years. 

[btdart20]

3 hours ago, larrytt said:

10. When they play their “A” outfield of Anthony, Austin, and Aaron (sorry Cedric, you only get a “C”), and throw in Adley at catcher and Adam at second, it’s almost straight A’s!

I question any list that doesn't have Angelos on the A-team.  

I'll see myself out...

[larrytt]

3 hours ago, Sammy Seagull said:

this is a joke thread, right?

Since Cedric Mullins is your favorite current player, maybe he'll be the subject of a Top Ten list.  

-Larrytt

[Uli2001]

Cano Holds = Cool Hands

You missed the "s".

 

[Flash- bd]

@larrytt's top tens are back! 

Now you know things are going good. 

[yark14]

I want some of what @larrytt is smoking.

[ChipTait]

6 minutes ago, yark14 said:

I want some of what @larrytt is smoking.

Well, at least it's legal now in Maryland.

[Frobby]

@larryttmust be incredibly good at Spelling Bee.  

[larrytt]

40 minutes ago, Uli2001 said:

Cano Holds = Cool Hands

You missed the "s".

 

You're right - fixed! It's "Cool Hands Cano"!

-Larrytt

[Roll Tide]

18 hours ago, larrytt said:

10. When they play their “A” outfield of Anthony, Austin, and Aaron (sorry Cedric, you only get a “C”), and throw in Adley at catcher and Adam at second, it’s almost straight A’s!

9. They win even when they play their “B” pitching team of Bradish, Baumann, Bautista, and Bryan Baker, and even their “C” team of Cole, Cano, Cionel, and Coulombe.

8. Bautista (6’8”), Fujinami (6’6”), Gibson (6’6”), Rodriguez (6’5”), and #5 players Cano, Flaherty, Irvin, and Montcastle (all 6’4”) beat the Dream Team in basketball. (Sure, the latter are all about 60 years old, but still...) 

7. They dominate the major leagues in third-inning doubles (38) and ninth inning or later sacrifices (8), and they are on track to break the all-time record for third-inning doubles + ninth inning or later sacrifices set by the 1896 Toledo Mud Hens, who won the Interstate League that year with a record of 47-16. (Only one of these statements is not true.)  

6. Santander’s 27 home runs is more than Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, or Sammy Sosa ever hit *combined* during their peak years excluding steroid-aided ones.  

5. Bradish’s 3.03 ERA makes him the second scariest Orioles starter, but teams run in fear when they face the scariest, 6’4” Jack Flaherty and his 6.66 ERA. Against him, not only are they in danger of losing their souls, but all they can do is strike out or hit weak grounders, nothing in the air – after all, Flaherty is just an anagram for “Fly Hater.”

4. “Cool Hands Cano” is the major league leader in holds, which is appropriate since Cano Holds is just an anagram for Cool Hands. (Seriously, let’s start calling him “Cool Hands Cano.”)

3. Few people realize that rookie star Gunnar Henderson lied about his age and is only 17. He spends his free time furiously studying for his high school finals. Early in the season he’d scream “Doh!” when he got his practice math problems wrong and it affected his hitting. But Manager Hyde turned his season around when he banned Gunnar from studying in the dugout. Of course, Brandon Hyde is just an anagram for Ban Nerdy Doh. (Studies show that 97% of readers yelled “Doh!” after reading this.)

2. The Orioles absolutely dominate in T-Ball, leading the American League in both runs scored and OPS (.821 and .881) on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We’ll ignore Wednesdays and Saturdays, where they are #12 both days (.670 and .701).

1. How can the Orioles lose when one of their fans wrote “Soul Testing in Major League Baseball,” “The Pushovers of Galactic Baseball Fame,” and “Mummy at the Bat” (alas, not online – about a non-speaking mummy that becomes a huge baseball star).

Another stat …..From Roch

Quote

Bradish allowed two runs in six innings last night for the third start in a row and fourth out of five. He registered his 16th quality start of the season and raised the Orioles’ total to 61. They lead the majors with 44 since June 1.

Are they getting close to the club’s single-season record?

The 1968 team holds the record with 111, according to STATS. The 1972 Orioles are next with 109.