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The Onion on David Ortiz


trk001

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Thought folks could use a laugh.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/david-ortiz-getting-paid-13-million-by-the-way,17434/

BOSTON—According to official MLB statistics available as of press time, struggling Red Sox designated hitter David Ortiz is hitting only .200 and has tallied a paltry four home runs and 11 RBIs thus far in 2010. Sources close to the team noted that, just FYI, Ortiz is being paid $13 million per year to do nothing but hit.

Moreover, as long as sources happen to be on the subject, Ortiz is carrying an on-base percentage of .274 and a slugging percentage of .412 for an OPS of .685, which ranks him at roughly 60th in the American League. Basically, witnesses said, this means Ortiz has earned $165,214 per hit this season, which is something to think about for sure.

Once again, sources stated, Ortiz only gets paid to hit. Just hit. Nothing else.

More in the link.

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