Mu'ayyidSaafir
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Posts posted by Mu'ayyidSaafir
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That Miller High Life commercial where the Miller truck driver confiscates those guys' beer because they're grilling ostrich burgers at a tailgate party is starting to bug me. Has anybody involved with creating this ad ever seen an ostrich burger? Why did they make them look like little light brown turds? I defer to Wikipedia:
Ostrich meat tastes similar to lean beef and is low in fat and cholesterol, as well as high in calcium, protein and iron. Uncooked, it is a dark red or cherry red color, a little darker than beefCheckmate, Miller people! Although I do like the one where they storm the luxury box and ask them what inning it is.
P.S. Please go away, Bon Jovi.
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You know that's actually Meat Loaf, right?
Well, I'll be. OK, I've got a commercial: the lead singer of Bread croons "I wanna make it with you" to his teenage daughter. But heads out of the gutters, everyone! Here "it" would refer to Shake n' Bake!
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That phone commercial where the dad and his son are singing Paradise by the Dashboard Light. I know they've changed the context, but still kind of an unseemly duet for family members, I don't care what they're singing about.
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Anti-Rants
in Rants
Does TV get any better than an infomercial for a compilation CD? The new one with Air Supply is terrific, but my all-time favorite was the one from a few years ago for '60s Gold starring Davy Jones.
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"1 2 3 4" video ipod commercials. Female pop singers are an abomination! No singing talent at all...
Wow:eek: . You wouldn't be saying that if you had seen her at Ram's Head a few weeks ago. She is actually an amazing, rare talent.
And does anybody else hate those Examiner commercials? "This transit initiative seems like an election year ploy." Uh huh. Thanks for the great first-date banter material, Examiner. I'll be busting that one out real soon.
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Why do people pronounce bruschetta broo-SHET-ta? It's broo-SKET-ta. If I walked into a Mexican restaurant and asked for a tortilla, rhymes with Godzilla, everyone would think I was a huge ignoramus. But go to any Italian joint in the country and even the waiters are butchering a word that should be perfectly easy to pronounce.
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I hate when you're out to dinner with a big group of people, eating at a long table, and someone from the group wants to stand at the head of the table and take a picture with everybody leaning in. When has that shot ever resulted in a good picture? Come on!
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Well this could be a thread unto itself, but how about "commercials run into the ground during past Orioles seasons by HTS/Comcast Sports/MASN that are now burned into your consciousness"? Take it away, Brooks Robinson: "A batted ball can reach third base at speeds exceeding 100 mph... a baby without a car seat can travel almost as fast." Oh, and that horrifying Adventure World commercial with Cal Ripken's "family" (Cal's face on the body of a little boy and girl... ewww).
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"The Bleeding Heart Show" by the New Pornographers. An awfully advertiser-friendly song, if you play the part without lyrics, as they do in the commercial
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One of my favorite songs is in a University of Phoenix commercial. Rrrgh! I miss the days when ads mostly used oldies and so-called "classic rock", so at least people were able to enjoy those songs uncorrupted for at least 20-30 years. Now every ad agency has some hipster working for them, just waiting to taint fresh, new rock songs. Thanks for nothing, U of Phoenix.
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That Olive Garden commercial where that woman is telling the waitress, "I'm looking for my date! He's very handsome and his shoes are probably untied!" Surprise! It's her toddler, sitting with her husband! Every time I see it, I hope that I'm watching an alternative version where the waitress decks that woman at the end.
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Everytime I hear the commercial the only thing I think is, "He went to Subway to buy jewelry from that guy who used to be fat?"
Has anyone seen the ad with him and Michael Strahan (I think)? He's starting to gain it back...
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What's worse, the fact that they're making a Santa Clause 3, or the fact that the commercials are proclaiming it "one of the greatest holiday trilogies of all time!" Um, not hard to be, since I couldn't think of a single other "holiday trilogy" to save my life.
And how has this thread been going on this long without a mention of "I cracked open my head here, here, and here..."?
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Anyone who listens to the Orioles on the radio will agree with me: Steve Bailey has got to go down in his race for state's attorney, just for inflicting that awful, ridiculous song on us. "Steve Bailey, for state's attorNEY... justice for all!" Ugh.
Short rants.
in Rants
Posted
Did you ever in your life think that you would have coins in your pocket that had the faces of William Henry Harrison and Martin Van Buren? I know the Mint wants the public to embrace dollar coins, but come on! Worse than "every kid gets a trophy" is definitely "every president gets a coin." Ridiculous.