Lt Melmo
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Posts posted by Lt Melmo
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I do, but that stuff still manages to get out.
I always squirt it in the sink before doing the duty with it.
(I happily await you, out-of-context quotes thread)
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There needs to be an organization of some sort dedicated to hating Jermaine.
It has been done.
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I'm angry at Jermaine!!!
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I don't understand the abbreviation "Teix." I know it's more "correct" than Tex, but how are you supposed to pronounce that? "Taysh"?
Tex is a much better nickname.
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That commercial for the weight-loss drug Lipozine. "You can't do it on your own. You just can't!"
I'm pretty sure you can if you put some effort into it lady.
I'll mention it again... Lipozene is a thinly-veiled scam that only results in, on average, four pounds of weight loss over two months (source: the fine print of their own commercial). So really, you can't do it with Lipozene either.
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Guys.
I have something important to say. I know it might not be easy...
Marc Zomberg is not a real person. He is not going to bring back the old Facebook if you join this group. "Marc Zomberg" is the silliest **** I've ever heard. Please stop inviting me.
I can't believe two million people fell for this crap. It just rattles my faith.
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No meth labs here! She broke it jumping into a swimming pool for her gym class. Her hand got caught in the lane ropes and her thumb was snapped back. Like I said, a freak accident.
I'm incredibly grateful that my parents take care of all this stuff so I can focus on studying and enjoying college instead of worrying about whether the can of refried beans will last until Sunday. And this definitely reinforces that. It's just a totally different dynamic in her family. If this happened to me, never in a million years would my parents expect me to pay for it. If I did, they'd reimburse me. Heck, I can get $20 just by asking them for it. And they'd be far more emotionally supportive. I guess that bothers me more than anything.
Did you say she was in grad school? I don't know many people whose parents would do pay for much of their grad school education.
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I really wish I knew why every single blog with multiple contributors just HAS to have at least one incredibly, unbelievably annoying blogger who tries to cram thousands and thousands of completely stupid jokes into their supposed-to-be-news posts. It makes me scream. Often.
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Celery in chicken salad.
:vader:
Replace chicken salad with egg salad. It destroys me every time.
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I disagree.
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Have to do this in code because of stupid caps prevention... the annoyingness of this commercial cannot be conveyed in proper grammar:
SEVENTY NINE EIGHTY NINE NINETY NINE YA YA YAAAAA
I HATE YOU TACO BELL
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One of the two Vehix.com commercials, and for only one reason...the very beginning:
"You can, literally, take a test drive..."
It's not literally, damnit. If it were literally, you'd actually be taking a test drive. The misuse of literally and virtually continue perpetually...
Well, yeah, but at this point it's debatable as to what the meaning of 'literally' really is anymore. It can be argued that it's usage has swayed so much in the "wrong" direction that that is now it's true definition.
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Yeah, I don't drink so 21 is pretty meaningless to me.
On the other hand, I still feel 16. I'm not old enough to not be a teenager any longer.
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Turning 20 in a few weeks makin me sad.
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Okay, the local car dealership commercial where they're singing "I Feel Good"... I've quickly bolted for the remote about forty times tonight because of it.
Also the terrible, annoying, never-leaves-my-head ska song for Baltimore Auto Auction: "Soyouwannabuyitfromalocaldeeeeealer!"
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A few days ago, over the course of a single day, I found it necessary to pass three different extraordinarily slow drivers on 95, and I only spend some 40 minutes there during my commute. As I passed each one and gave them my death stare, I noticed one thing about all of them: they were ALL texting.
Everyone but me is a bad driver!!
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How do you know it was a two car crash?
I had about five minutes in 10 mph traffic to look.
Everyone but me is a bad driver.
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My professor's cat somehow got into my room today. I opened the door to head out for a meeting and he waltzed right in, jumped on my bed, and went to sleep. I don't know how he got inside the dorm, as he doesn't have an ID card. I wanted to let him stay, but I had to be somewhere and I didn't want to come back and find that he'd used the storage boxes under my bed as a litter box. So I had to scoop him up, carry him out of the room, get someone else to lock my door for me, then carry him outside. It was very funny. I plan to tell my professor about this tomorrow. The cat was at least half a mile away from her house.
Speaking of cat pee, you know what I hate? Kitty litter bags. They have that string thing at the top that you're supposed to pull to open it, and it's the most aggravating, painful endeavor because it just isn't physically possible to open them. So I always have to scramble around my messy basement looking for a blade of some sort while avoiding cat poop. I'll often give up looking for a blade and I'll try to use the claw of a hammer to open it, at which point the gods above all laugh at me.
And you know what I hate?
Rubberneckers.
Especially when they make me miss a quiz. After being stuck in traffic on 95 for a half hour only to realize it's all because everyone just had to stare at the massive MINOR TWO-CAR CRASH on the side of the road, I just screamed and screamed, and I don't think I was ever more disappointed in the human race. It's extremely sad to me.
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I love that commercial, cause it got me breaking out Bat out of Hell. Even if it's kinda creepy for a family to be singing a song about teenage sex. Still awesome. And hilarious.
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I'm guessing the commercial wasn't her idea or anything, and if she wasn't here it would still exist. I'm angry about the Orioles' commitment to exploiting the fact that there are more NY/BOS fans in our park than O's fans. This includes having the announcers point out every time one of the teams are gonna be in town, even if it isn't until the last week of May.
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"And win FOUR TICKETS to FENWAY PARK!!!"
-Anita Marks
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I think you mean Verizon.
I really, really, really don't care.
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Any of those Alltel commercials with all those dorks representing the other companies. I've never seen so many people who couldn't get a date in one commercial.
The funny thing is, those commercials are meant to poke fun at Sprint for making the "can you hear me now" guy... and then they go and make their own annoying little mascot who's supposed to be cooler than all them.
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Oh crap now it's in my head.
Short rants.
in Rants
Posted
Dear Most Bloggers,
You are not funny. You are not good at being funny. You do not know how to write things that are funny. Stop trying to be funny. Stop filling every single sentence with countless esoteric references and failed jokes that make it absolutely impossible to understand what you're trying to say. Just ****ing tell me what I need to know about whatever movie or song or fantasy baseball strategy you're attempting to talk about. That is why I read your blog. Information.
Thank you,
Zach.
The worst thing is a blog like /film, which is run by a great guy (Peter Sciretta) who chooses to write with some of the worst bloggers in history (Hunter Stephenson, Brendan Connolly). Other big offenders: Erik Davis and Monika Bartzyel at Cinematical, all of the bloggers at Joblo, all of the writers of the "forkcast" which is the only decent part of Pitchfork, Grey at razzball.com and a million others. I read all of these blogs because their other contributors tend to be great or they have interesting features, but there is NOTHING as painful as reading through a post from a blogger who doesn't realize that he or she isn't funny and can't write. Nothing.