cmcgarvey
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Posts posted by cmcgarvey
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Any wins above 40 will be a disappointment to me
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[video=youtube;3CNJGD4VbAA]
Pedro The Lion
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Anyone else want to see Jesse win in the end? He's been so abused by everyone that he deserves some kind of redemption.
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This is weird and heavy for a song that was recorded in 1977.
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<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPy_fiv3sAw&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPy_fiv3sAw&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
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It only gets worse.And so do I.I sent her this about 80 minutes ago.
This is a dream I had about her:
I can't even sleep right now.The call came last night.She was calling from the airport.
She was waiting for a transfer.
I could tell by the sound of her voice that she had been crying.
Apparently they had a fight which was usual for them.
They seem to do this multiple times a day.
This time it's obviously more serious than usual.
She then proceeded to tell me she hadn't slept in 48 hours, she was drunk and that she was no longer engaged.
The first thing I did was ask her if she wanted a cab?
She said no which I expected her to.
She can be very stubborn sometimes.
Kind of like how I can be very irrational often.
So I did what I thought was the only thing I could do.
While still on the phone with her, I hailed a cab.
As I climbed into the back I asked her where she was to get her to repeat the name of the airport so that when I repeated it, she didn't catch on.
I knew I was going into a situation where nothing would save me and I was going to feel pain.
I've become used to getting hurt because my childhood was one of abandonment.
This is different though.
This is like intentionally buying a Choose Your Own Adventure book where you die on every page.
On page one you get your heart has been ripped out by a vampire on a unicycle.
On page two you fall into a well full of C.H.U.D.s and they rip your limbs off.
On page three you stumble upon a secret cult of satanic bookmakers and they beat you to death with a jockey's leg.
On page four you...
You get the the point.
Basically, the situation is beyond hopeless.
It's a living definition of futility.
But I'm going anyway.
I have to.
I'm going because I love her more than anything else in the world.
I don't know what I'm going to say to her.
I don't even know how to approach her.
I've told her I love her so many ****ing times and it's done me no good.
It's only caused me pain.
My love for her isn't like any other love I've ever felt.
It's more of a devotional thing.
It's not like how you would dote on a child or anything.
More like how when someone makes this impression on your life that is so strong and powerful that all your cares and worries are put aside because this person is your everything.
Okay, so maybe that is kind of like how a parent cares for a child or at least how they should.
But that's not what I'm talking about because that's a whole other level of creepy.
Her happiness is all that matters to me.
As she's trying to tell me what happened, I start staring off and thinking about how I'm even going to do this.
“He said I could never inspire someone to make great art”
I will have the element of surprise.
“That I don't make any sense.”
She does not know I'm on my way there.
I can make this awesome.
I totally know I can.
I thought about sneaking up behind her and putting my phone on her other ear to freak her out.
But I'm smart enough to realize that would probably result in me being punched.
That is definitely not what I want to feel right now.
What can I do that would be totally bad-ass and seem like something from a John Hughes' film from the 80s?
I got an idea.
I'm going to approach her as if I were a stranger and ask her a question.
Then she'll see me and recognize me and she'll go with me.
I have the approach down.
I got it.
I'll go up to her in the airport and ask her, “Can you please explain to my friend that she's being really stubborn and that she should leave this airport with me?”
I need more than that.
I need a spiel that will amaze.
Like something from an infomercial starring the reanimated corpse of Billy Mays.
Well....
Not like that, but you get the point.
It'll have to be something along the lines of, “Can you please explain to my friend that she's being really stubborn and that she should leave this airport with me? All I want is the best for her. I want her to sleep in my bed and let me take the couch. I want her to rest herself and sober up. I want to be there for her the way she was there for me when I would have my breakdowns and call her sobbing my eyes out. She deserves to finally have someone whose only intention is trying to make her happy. She deserves to have someone who is trying to make her feel safe. She deserves someone who would be completely and utterly shattered if they hurt her in any way. She deserves pretty much everything she could ever want and I want to be the one who gives it to her.”
She'll smile and we'll hug and it will be so ****ing perfect.
Man, this is gonna be awesome.
I'm gonna pull this off and she's totally gonna be all sorts of happy.
(I need to stop repeating myself.)
We're gonna ride out of the airport on a lawn mower and all will be right with the world.
It'll be so ****ing awesome.
Like Dolph Lundgren in Masters Of The Universe.
Wait.
That's awesome in an ironic way.
I want it to be awesome in a Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate kind of way.
Where the guy gets the girl in the end, but it's weird and complicated.
I arrive at the airport and pay the cabbie.
I ask if she's at least attempting to eat something and she says no.
I now know she's not in the food court.
I ask if she's still drinking to see if I can find out which airport bar she's in.
She says she isn't.
She says she's just wandering around where the international flights are and I run to find her.
As I'm running, I have no thought in my mind, body or soul other than caring for her.
I'm pushing people out of my way left and right.
I'm jumping over luggage.
I'm on a mission.
Then I see her.
It's time.
I keep repeating to myself how important this is and I can't **** it up so I can maintain my confidence.
I walk up from behind her and I tap her on the shoulder.
She turns her head around slowly and our eyes lock.
I can already feel tears welling up in my ducts.
I get as far as “Can you please” before I notice this enormous sadness in her eyes and I just start sobbing.
It was like this weight that has been weighing me done for what seems like forever was finally gone, but it was also the only thing keeping me standing.
We both instantly sort of crumpled into this clutching mass of sadness.
As we collapsed to the floor, I wasn't thinking about the millions upon millions of germs that are on the floor of a national airport.
I was thinking about her.
I was thinking about her pain and her suffering and the fact that I couldn't handle seeing her like this without breaking down as well.
We were just sitting there.
Both of us crying our eyes out as if we were accepting our own personal failures in both love and in life.
I can imagine it might have been unsettling to some people, but with the state of humanity being what it is, I figure most people looked at us as if we were normal.
I am able to now talk some sense into her.
We take a cab back to my place.
My dog is going nuts because he's gay, afraid of women and he's never met her.
I offer her a breakfast beer; it's a beer with the word breakfast in the name.
We make a little small talk before I show her where she'll be sleeping.
She kisses me.
I was not prepared for this.
It seems like I have been waiting forever for this moment to happen and now that it finally does, it feels a little awkward.
I asked her if she was sure if she wanted to do this and she said yes.
I'm not going to go into detail, but I will say that it was amazing.
I look over now I see that she has finally fallen asleep.
I can see her body expand and contract with every breath.
I'm going to go now so I can hold her because I don't know if I'll ever be able to hold her again.
This may be my only chance.
She could be gone tomorrow or next week or 50 years down the road.
I've held onto to hope for so long that this moment would happen that it would be a shame if I let go to waste.
For me, holding her is exactly like holding onto hope.
It's what gets me through life.
It's saddens me to think that this could disappear at any minute.
But that's how things are sometimes.
I normally think that our hopes and dreams are usually a load of **** and a waste time.
Tonight is an exception.
Tonight I am holding onto my hope and I am holding onto my dream.
It's the only thing I can do at this point.
It's the only thing I want to do at this point.
She really does mean to world to me.
I need to some kind of response from her.
This is a draft that I didn't intend on sending her tonight.
Hopefully the ****s will take care of my swearing and not get me neg repped for bad language.
I'm a wreck right now.
I'm sorry and I want to apologize to all of you for even posting this on here.
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Instead if starting a new thread for those quitting smoking, I decided to post here because there's no way i sleep tonight unless elves inject me with drugs.
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I fail at life.
It's that simple.
I've fallen for a girl I know from when I lived in the Midwest who now lives on the West Coast and is engaged to another person...
The worst part is that a week ago i told her how I feel about her.
The even worst part is that she's become my best friend in the process.
She tells me an hour ago that he ended it and she wants to die.
I offered her a plane ticket here.
I offered her a spare room in my house.
I offered her a ticket home to Wisconsin.
I only want what's best for her.
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Got and finished Dirk Hayhurst's The Bullpen Gospels today.
It's really an engrossing book and it's extremely funny.
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Sparklehorse - "Spirit Ditch" Live
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Yeah, he was.Was Chris Brown (Padres organization) on that team? -
Just finished The Ticket Out: Darryl Strawberry & the Boys of Crenshaw by Michael Sokolove.
This was a fantastic book about what may have been the greatest high school baseball team ever.
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That was awesome...<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XP5RP6OEJI&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XP5RP6OEJI&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>but I have to one up you
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<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrmPehlHK3w&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrmPehlHK3w&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>
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This is dedicated to the OH forum.
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Eluvium - An Accidental Memory In The Case Of Death
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Part of Gavin Bryars' "The Sinking Of The Titanic"
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Jean Sibelius in A Minor, Op. 63 - Symphony #4 - 3rd Movement
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Sadly, not the original video, but finding an uncut version of this song is not easy.
Big Country - In A Big Country.
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It's the theme to "Saxondale" which is a show you might enjoy scOtt.<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGaVUApDVuY&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGaVUApDVuY&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>It's about this dude who used to be a roadie for rock bands in the 70s who now lives in British suburbia and has to deal with all the "conformists" who he meets.
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<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5ZPtiztB5I&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5ZPtiztB5I&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>
Stereolab - Metronomic Underground (Live)
NL VP of Scouting : " It’s embarrassing to the sport what they’re doing, or aren’t doing."
in Orioles Talk
Posted