Orioles Payroll Frustration - Humor is the Best Medicine

[wildbillhiccup]

Since the Orioles continue to slash payroll I though it might be a good idea to start a thread that allowed us to channel our frustrations in a more of a positive way. So give me your best analogy, metaphors, puns, limericks, etc. in regards to the teams ever shrinking payroll. And lets see if humor is in fact the best medicine.

 

[wildbillhiccup]

The Orioles budget is tighter than the string on Fernando Rodney's imaginary bow. 

[Frobby]

The Orioles’ payroll is so low, it might only be $15 mm higher than the Rays’ was in 2019 when they won 96 games.

Oh wait, that’s not that funny.

[Can_of_corn]

Tighter than Bartolo Colon's belt.

[Aglets]

The Orioles have spent less on payroll than Sidney Ponson spends annually in legal fees.

[Can_of_corn]

2 minutes ago, Aglets said:

The Orioles have spent less on payroll than Sidney Ponson spends annually in legal fees.

You spelled beer wrong.

[canonfaz]

If the Orioles payroll was any lower, Ken Rosenthal could reach it.

[Moose Milligan]

Really don't get the obsession on the payroll.  Sure, it's low.  But we all know what's going on here.

What would we prefer?  A bloated payroll for a team that'll win 70 games?  We've been there before, that's not fun.  

[weams]

1 hour ago, wildbillhiccup said:

Since the Orioles continue to slash payroll I though it might be a good idea to start a thread that allowed us to channel our frustrations in a more of a positive way. So give me your best analogy, metaphors, puns, limericks, etc. in regards to the teams ever shrinking payroll. And lets see if humor is in fact the best medicine.

 

I'd rather be last with the team paying 45 million. Short lines and Good minors.

Than be last paying a billion. With great fashion and and diners.

[Aglets]

Yeah I'm playing along with the joke here but in reality I support what Elias is doing 100% and I think most of the fans on this message board are in the same boat.  Overpaying for mediocrity is only going to prolong the problems.  The system needed a total gutting and rebuild from the ground up, which we are seeing now.   It will pay off in good time.  

[wildbillhiccup]

1 hour ago, Moose Milligan said:

Really don't get the obsession on the payroll.  Sure, it's low.  But we all know what's going on here.

What would we prefer?  A bloated payroll for a team that'll win 70 games?  We've been there before, that's not fun.  

I have not problem with it (aside from cutting FanFest), but to be honest I'm sick of reading about other people complaining about it (i.e., suggesting we sign free agents, etc.) I'd much rather read joke-related content. 

[wildbillhiccup]

2 hours ago, canonfaz said:

If the Orioles payroll was any lower, Ken Rosenthal could reach it.

Begs to mind the question. Who would win in a limbo contest? Rosenthal, the Orioles' payroll or Chris Davis' batting average?  

[wildbillhiccup]

1 hour ago, Aglets said:

Yeah I'm playing along with the joke here but in reality I support what Elias is doing 100% and I think most of the fans on this message board are in the same boat.  Overpaying for mediocrity is only going to prolong the problems.  The system needed a total gutting and rebuild from the ground up, which we are seeing now.   It will pay off in good time.  

I don't know...I'm seen quite a few posts suggesting they sign FAs this offseason. If people honestly believe that's the right approach then they're not on board with the rebuild. 

[Redskins Rick]

1 hour ago, Aglets said:

Yeah I'm playing along with the joke here but in reality I support what Elias is doing 100% and I think most of the fans on this message board are in the same boat.  Overpaying for mediocrity is only going to prolong the problems.  The system needed a total gutting and rebuild from the ground up, which we are seeing now.   It will pay off in good time.  

I agree the fans get it, the trolls just want to stir the pot and incite others.

 

[Moose Milligan]

2 minutes ago, wildbillhiccup said:

Begs to mind the question. Who would win in a limbo contest? Rosenthal, the Orioles' payroll or Chris Davis' batting average?  

Rosenthal might be short, but if Chris Davis' batting average were a height, it'd resemble Herve Villechaize.

 

Or maybe Gary Coleman.  Take your pick.