FieldofWeams: Top Ten Ways the Orioles Can Make It to the 2015 World Series

[larrytt]

10) Rewrite "Green Eggs and Ham," so that every reference to "green eggs and ham" is replaced by "to bunt." Then make Chris Davis read it before every game until they stop shifting on him.

9) At various times we've thought Markakis, Jones, Wieters, Machado, and others were God, and would lead us to the World Series. None did. It's time we actually sign God (WAR: 162) and we're there.

8) Take a walk down memory lane and remember the six times we've been in the World Series. Then delete everything in the previous sentence except the first three words and put it on a sign next to the batting cages.

7) If you can survive the post-apocalypse, you can survive the post-season. So sign the entire surviving cast of The Walking Dead. Sorry, Buck, but Rick's in charge now. With Daryl pitching (bolts?) and Michonne batting (macheteing?), we can't lose.

6) Trade Ubaldo for Ichiro Suzuki. After all, Ichiro's nickname is "Wizard," and "Trade Ubaldo" is just an anagram for "A Robed Adult." (Sorry, Ozzie "Wizard" Smith, you're too old and we already have too many shortstops.)

5) For the next few months the Orioles should all wear helmets. Some of those balls Chris Davis hit into orbit in 2013 should be dropping on opponents' heads right about now. (And after sort of taking the year off to recuperate, he'll be launching more this year.)

4) Anyone know where we keep the Ebola-infected blankets for the ceremonial gift exchange with other teams?

3) Google Directions should help.

2) If Ubaldo has an ERA over 4.50 after April, he will be politely asked to wear a red shirt while painting a picture of Muhammad and periodically poking a grizzly bear with the pointy end of the paintbrush.

1) Getting to the World Series: Good. The look on the faces of opposing hitters when they realize nearly every player on the field is actually a shortstop or center fielder: Priceless.

[BohKnowsBmore]

I always love these. Particularly the anagrams.

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[weams]

[MdSooner]

The smart aleck in me says:

#11. Buy a ticket.

[scOtt]

I will not eat them with a shift.

I will not eat them, catch my drift?

I will not eat them Sam I am.

I will not eat Green Eggs and Ham.