Top Twelve Ways Orioles Can Recover the Season

[larrytt]

12) Nelson Cruz has homered 246 times for Seattle in their first 16 games. But he's just a DH, who spends about ten minutes a game in the batter's box. I'm sure we can work out an arrangement where Cruz hits for us outside those ten minutes. Ever hear of Skype?

11) Chris Davis is hitting .237 with 246 strikeouts in 59 at bats. In his most recent pitching outing he pitched two shutout innings, striking out 17 batters. Orioles currently have a team ERA of 5.08. Duh!!!

10) Oriole players need to look in the mirror and say, "We need to play better, Orioles." Of course, "Orioles" is just an anagram for "or I lose."

9) Never forget that the most common anagram for "Come from behind to win the pennant and world series" is "Come from behind to win the pennant and world series."

8) Norris. 17.42 ERA. Tar. Feathers.

7) Our second best hitter is Caleb Joseph. All is lost.

6) We're last in the AL East in fielding percentage and ERA, but if we can hold off Tampa Bay and only be next to last in runs scored, that's something, right?

5) The Orioles lead the AL East in ERA on Wednesdays (3.96) and Saturdays (1.00). With a little rescheduling, and only playing those days, we'd be the best. The season would only take 81 weeks, finishing on Oct. 23, 2016.

4) The Orioles have an OPS of .880 on Saturdays and .887 on Sundays. Weekend Warriors!!!

3) The Orioles are the only team in the AL East without a balk. And they say we can't pitch!!!

2) The Orioles lead the AL East in AVE, OBP, SLG, and of course OPS. We also lead the AL East in all of these categories with runners in scoring position. We're the best!!! (Sure, we're fourth out of five teams in runs scored - details, details.)

1) The Red Sox and Yankees are tied for first at 10-7, and we're three games back at 7-10. A little dyslexia never hurt anyone.

[Rene88]

Two words: Jack Cust.