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vs. CARDINALS, 8/09


OFFNY

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    • 10. Nobody can hit against Orioles pitchers. They cano hit against Cano, Burnes burns them, Means is mean to them, Webb puts them in web of deception, Akin is akin to Koufax at his peak, all they can do is suarez at Suarez, Cole leaves them cold, Bradish bradishes an unhittable slider, hitters bow to Baumann, their hair turns gray against Grayson, and bats cool off against Coulombe. 9. Seeing that everyone else in the rotation is throwing shutouts, in his next start Burnes will hold the opposing team to -1 runs. When the rest of the rotation matches that, he’ll hold them to -2 runs, and on a good day, -5. Opponents will get dizzy running the bases backwards. 8. At some point during the season, when the Orioles lead over the second-place Yankees shrinks to only 20 games and everyone is panicking, we will hear trumpets and the pounding hooves of calvary charging up the steps at Camden Yards, and riding in on a huge orange and black charger will be the savior, who will lead the Orioles to victory . . . yes, the return of Jackson Holiday. 7. Spring Stowers bring Mayo powers. 6. They have a Murderer's Row of Holliday, Nordby, Kjerstad, Mayo, and Stowers … and that’s just the reserves. 5. There once was a closer Kimbrel, Who bragged he’d put hitters in hell, Craig Kimbrel can boast that the game’s in the bag, Cuz his name is an anagram of Limerick Brag, So save after save he’ll befell*. (*We’ll ignore some recent performances.) 4. You can’t spell “Baltimore” without “Mateo RBI” and an “L” for the two Lefty pitchers he’s homered against. 3. The Orioles have given up two or fewer runs for seven straight games, outscoring opponents 29-8. In other words, par. Next they go for birdies, which should be easy for an Oriole. 2. On April 11, Colton Cowser hit his first major league home run. It traveled 438 feet. He sent us a clear message – do I really need to spell out the obvious? Okay. 438 is divisible by 2 x 3 x 73. Who are #2 and #3 on the Orioles? Henderson and Mateo, both shortstops. And who was the shortstop for the ’73 Orioles? Belanger. In 544 plate appearances that year, Belanger hit exactly zero home runs while batting .226. Cowser’s clear message to us? We are no longer hitless wonders. Duh. 1. Oh, and they lead the AL in home runs by ten, in slugging by 42 points, OPS by 27 points, runs by 12, lead the AL East in batting average and in both fielding percentage and efficiency, lead the majors in ERA in May (1.20, and that doesn’t include the 2-0 and 4-2 wins at the end of April), and in a secret vote their starting rotation of the past week was voted Greatest Starting Rotation in History. 
    • I actually think the advantage is more pronounced with that rule because the runner is much less likely to score with a strikeout pitcher on the mound than someone who gives up soft contact because hitters can hit the ball to the right side in those situations to move the runner. Or simply bunt. 
    • If we are being super creative with SS/CF, isn't it possible CF Gunnar and SS Holliday would be more efficient? I think Westburg finding another gear takes some of the pressure off Mayo's glove. There's asset management over another year but I think absent a very big trade we'll get to C Adley, 1B Mayo, 2B Holliday, SS Gunnar, 3B Westburg, LF Cowser, CF Bradfield, RF Kjerstad, DH Basallo with Norby and Beavers extra guys if they are here. Mix up 1B/RF/DH and Mayo/Kjerstad/Basallo based on their progress as defenders, with maybe DH preferred for Basallo as he might catch some.     Minnesota last year tried catcher load management as simple as alternating days, and maybe that's something the Orioles could do for a decade if both guys ink long term.
    • Gotcha.  I agree with that angle.  It's a factor.  Not necessarily the ghost runner though.  That seems a bit more subject to luck.
    • If Superman, The Thing from the Fantastic Four, and Anthony Santander got in a fight who would win?  Discuss. 
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